I'VE SEEN HER! (COMPLETE)

Chapter 35

As we were about to start the dishes my sister turned up. It was unusually late for her and I could tell by the way she let herself in, dropping my niece to the floor to go play, that something was wrong.

“Have you seen this?” she slammed a newspaper on the table. “What the fuck does he think he is playing at!”

We all stared at her as I felt relief the children were in the other room and not subjected to her bad language. I looked down to see a picture of my ex in a full-page spread. I felt the colour drain from my face as I read the title ‘The day I was attacked by a national hero.”

“Do you know he is going to be on TV tomorrow morning, what a wanker!” she ranted.

My head felt fuzzy, I stumbled towards the table to take a seat.

“He is claiming he had to take out an injunction on you as you were stalking him and kidnapped his elderly mother on Christmas Day to prevent him and his new girlfriend being with her...”

I pressed my head to the cold of the table for relief from the heat flushing my face as my sister ranted.

“... I mean for crying out loud, he even claims your being shackled and nearly raped in a closet by some freak, after some guy had already smashed your head in, was your idea of kinky sex.”

“Wait, what?” James sounded shocked. He obviously couldn’t believe the idiot was doing this either.

“Well Dad has called the TV station and the paper to say we are going to sue if they broadcast anything and he wants a retraction. I think your ex forgets our father is a legal whizz.”

“Look we best get going. I hope everything gets sorted out,” Emily’s father couldn’t grab their stuff quick enough. He wanted away from this and I couldn’t blame him. It was like being thrown back in time and they had worked hard enough to get away from it.

“Erm, me too,” James grabbed his car keys off the table.

“I’m sorry to barge in,” my sister apologised, noticing she had crashed dinner with guests.

Everyone disappeared before I had a chance to get up. My sister showed them out and apologised again for ruining my dinner but it was important. She called our dad on Skype and I lay on the sofa listening to him until my head could take no more and I fell asleep half way through a conversation.

***

When I woke in the early hours of the morning I was still on the sofa. My sisters handbag was on the table and my nieces coat on the seat opposite so I knew she had stayed over. I got up to fetch a drink, my head was fussy so I went to bed after. A couple of hours later my sister brought me in a cup of tea and headed off to take my niece to nursery. She would come back after.

I lay in bed, drinking my tea and worrying if my ex was going to appear on the morning programme when my phone rang. It was James. I answered it, noticing how just his name on the screen of my phone made things feel better and the smile on my lips as I said Hello was one of optimism.

“Are you up yet? I need to pop around and see you for a few minutes,” he sounded tired.

“Yeah, I’m in bed drinking tea but I can get up.”

“Are you ill?”

“No.” I was keen to see him and get one of those amazing hugs. I wasn’t about to tell him my mind was exhausted and I could sleep all day.

“I’ll be around in a minute.”

With that he was gone and I got out of bed to brush my hair, teeth and freshen up. He was already knocking the door as I pulled my oversized jumper on. Maybe I’d get a quick kiss in it again. A girl can hope.

As I answered the door, and saw his face I knew there was no kiss. He looked serious, sad and tormented as he came inside.

“Can I get you a drink?” I heard myself offer as another part of me assessed him.

He shook his head before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

“Oh,” I realised what was happening. He was dumping me. I bit my lip as I looked at him, my eyes starting to tear up.

A few moments of silence followed as both of us struggled with our emotions and where to start. In the end I just opened the front door again and signalled for him to leave just as my sisters car pulled up.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly as stopped beside me on the way out the door.

I nodded as if to say the same to him but also to indicate that I understood what was happening without his having said a word. A tear fell from my left eye, seconds before another from my right, I turned and rushed to my bedroom. Seconds later my sister joined me as the moment my therapist had warned me about finally happened. I hit my emotional wall and my life came shattering down around me. I cried so hard my chest hurt with every sob and only stopped when I felt asleep with exhaustion.

***

Over the next few weeks my therapist tried to help me make sense of my emotions and how best to handle them. My sister had been told by James sister that he had not known the full extent of what happened to me when I kidnapped. He blamed himself and didn’t want to be in my life as he felt I deserved better. He was in an emotional spiral himself. My therapist advised there was no point in approaching him to say I didn’t blame him as he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to hear it and I had enough on my plate. Perhaps in a few weeks... now it was a few weeks and whilst I missed him like crazy I knew my being in his life was a reminder to him and his family of what Emily had been through. I had to stay away and not haunt them. I’d get over him sooner or later. I’d fall for someone else in a couple of years... the thought of him with someone else was torture so I avoided it. I’d stay away. Get on with my life and let him get on with his. That was best for everyone.