Queen's Thoughts

Copyright Shazneem Tamana

Dedicated to my extended family:

@boofhead @psdoffhby @lilly-rain @Christinag1227 @AggieDiva35 @GiamoniCooper

Inner Turmoil

My heart says go

My mind says no

Hurt I am

Lost I feel

You meant the world

For I gave you the world

You could not value it

You could not treasure it

My support

My love

My caresses

You did not need

You did not feel its worth

You threw it away

With that last blow

My years of hardwork

My years of loyalty

My years of love and support

You threw away like it was nothing at all

Did you not realise I had a limit?

Did you not listen to my words "dont push me too far?"

All gone and lost

Because of your anger and control

To cage another

When you want to be free

To limit another

When you want the unlimited

To hurt another

When you want to be unhurt

where, pray tell,

is the sense, the justice in this?

Is it ignorance?

or 

do you assume this is manhood?

I bleed inside

Yet smile for my loved ones

I do my duties

That which you could never match up to do

You feel not what I had

The love

The respect

The need

The want

You felt none of it

But 

The Pain

The Hurt

The Whimpers

The Moans

The Agony

The Loss

The Loneliness

The Betrayal

The sheer heights of losing all I put so much into

You shall feel

Your Time will come

For he sees all

You said He forgives anyone who asks for forgivness

But you took no note of the fact 

That he sees if your apoligy was truthful

If you would learnt not to do it again

Yet time and time again you did it

And now your apoligies mean nothing to me or Him

Life will be hard for me

But atleast it will be away from you

Life will be harder for you

Mark my words it shall be

For noone will cook your meals

Pay your bills

Wash you clothes

And do all I did

For nothing in return

I asked not of 

Money

Nor of anything else

I needed not 

Materialistic things

Nor words of the moons and stars

I hoped

Simply hoped

I would get my dues

The Love

The Respect

The Support

That all woman deserve and need

Yet you gave me nothing

And 

Took everything

You took my innocent smiles of teen years

and turned them into fake smiles of the feared

You took my sweet sixteen laughter, that boomed the walls

And turned them into surpressed coughs

You took away those who meant so much to me

Turning me into a loner