Heavy Love

2x to 2depressed

I thought Donna and Cassie was a couple, but they are actually just two friends who live in the big city. They stayed up a little longer telling me about how they grew up together as best friends. During the day they look like two normal men who work in an office answering the phone. At night they are Drag Queens who work at a dance club.

Donna’s male name is Jacob, but he prefers Donna. Cassie’s male name is Gregory, but he prefers Cassie. They are amazing. Somehow when things are tough, they always find the good in it. The world would be a much better place if there was more people like them.

I was awoken by a knock on the door. I’m not even sure it is my place to answer the door. Donna bolted out of his room, wearing only his underwear. I turned my head to be polite. I wanted to look so bad, to see the muscles, but that would be so rude. “Honey, don’t be like that. We are all human here.” I still couldn’t find it in me to have the courage to look up at him.

I could hear Donna greeting whoever it was at the door. “Sarah, this is Amy. I called her this morning. She is going to be keeping you company today while we are at work.” I looked up to find a gorgeous woman in her mid-thirties standing in the middle of the living room. She jumped in the middle of the bed, which I was still lying in.

“Oh sweetie, Donna told me everything. I’m so sorry you have had a crappy life, but things are going to get better from here.” Amy seemed like a sweet person. “So today we are just going to hang out. Introduce you to the city properly.”

“Thank you for doing this Amy. We would love to spend the day with her, but we can’t afford to take another day off. I’m pretty sure if we do our boss would fire us. Speaking of our boss, I’m going to ask him today if he would just hire you on, until you can find yourself a better place to work. Just to help you get up on your feet.”

“That would be amazing. I have great phone etiquette.” I could feel the hope building up in me.

“Darling, you probably won’t be answering phones. He already has the two of us doing it. To tell you the truth, it’s not likely that he will hire you on. He is a complete jerk. But I’m going to beg him to find something for you.”

“You don’t have to do that then. If it’s not likely that he will hire me, then don’t take the chance.”

“I think that is one of your problems Sarah. If you doubt something will even work or happen, you won’t try it. Always try Sarah. Always.”

“Donna, you better go get ready, or you both are going to be late for work.” Amy shooed him away, leaving us alone in the living room. I felt a little uncomfortable with her sitting in the bed with me. “Today we are going to have so much. I’m going to take you to meet some of my friends for coffee. Then show you some of the best places to shop and eat around here. If you want, I can even show you some apartments. Donna said this is temporary, that you want to find your own place to live. I know this great apartment complex a few blocks from here. You know, you don’t talk that much.”

“That’s because you haven’t shut up.” Cassie came walking out of his room wearing a suit. He looked very handsome. Last night I couldn’t tell that either of them was as good looking as they are. Maybe it was because of all the makeup they were wearing. “You have to give her a chance to talk.”

“Girl, I am so sorry. Sometimes I just get carried away. You will have to remind me to stop.” She laughed. It was probably the most musical laugh I have ever heard before.

“It is perfectly fine. I like listening to other people talk. It’s not like I don’t want to be a part of the conversation, it’s just that I enjoy listening so much.”

“We are going to get along just fine.” The day consisted of Amy mostly talking. We met up with her friends at a small coffee shop down the street. I had never been in a coffee shop before, it seemed homey and hip. I’m not sure if that is really feelings, but that is how it felt to me. Her friends seemed to be just as talkative as Amy. Even if I wanted to get a word in, I wouldn’t have been able to.

We were walking into one of Amy’s favorite boutiques when her phone began to ring. “Hey slut…we are in Gone Home…that’s awesome…are you sure she will…okay…alright…yeah…bye slut.”

“Everything okay?” Part of me was being nosy.

“Cassie talked to his boss and he said he might have a position open for you. He wants to do an interview with you in an hour.”

“That’s amazing! Oh my gosh, I need to go back and change clothes. I can’t go to an interview looking like this.” I looked down at my ripped jeans and old t-shirt.

“Why don’t you just buy something here and change into it?”

“I doubt they will have anything in my size.” Sadness built up inside of me. I just reminded myself that I am fat. I wanted to just go into hiding right then.

“Hush girl, we can find you something, what size do you wear?”

I looked down in embarrassment. “A uh…a 2x.”

“Alright, now all we have to do is find you is some black slacks and a blouse.” Amy skimmed the wracks, checking almost every size. The longer she looked, the more depressed I became. “I’m sorry Sarah. The biggest size I can find is a large.”

“It’s okay. I have gone through this all of my life. Let’s just go back to the apartment so I can change.” As we walked out of the store, the depression settled in as well as realization. I had left my anti-depressants at home. I would have to go to a doctor and get a prescription pretty soon, because the way my life is going, I can’t go without them.

***Author’s Note***

Depression is nothing to mess around with. I was diagnosed with depression four years ago. With the love of friends and family they helped me overcome it. There are still times when the feeling of depression comes back, but I know there are people there for me. If you are suffering from depression, just know that there is someone out there who does care.

Love and Kisses

To my Misters and Misses