I discovered One Direction when I was 16. They had just started coming on the X Factor and they were five of the silliest guys I’d ever seen. I had fallen for five guys that I knew I would never meet. The five guys that probably didn’t even know I existed. The five guys that had changed my life in ways that I never knew were even possible. I became a crazy, obsessed Directioner the day I discovered them. And like every other teen girl, I was in love with Harry Styles.
I’ve lived in New Castle all my teen years. In school, I was always quiet and shy. The only and the best friend I had was Martha – my fellow Directioner. We’d always been best friends since childhood. We grew up in New Castle, went to the same school, and liked the same stuff. And she was the only person who didn’t think I was crazy when I got a ‘One Direction’ tattoo on my wrist.
There was no One Direction concert ever held in New Castle. Instead, Martha and I fangirled over the YouTube videos of the boys. I always imagined seeing them, meeting them someday. But, even though I was crazy for them, I knew that this wasn’t really practical.
But yet, I dreamed.
Martha and I moved to London to study in Kingston University. My chance to meet One Direction came then, when I was 18 - still a fangirling Directioner. One Direction was holding a signing for their new album. When we found out about it, we sat and planned the whole thing out. We were willing to do everything – we had to camp out to get the bands for entry.
I sat on the couch in my living room and crossed my legs as I picked up the morning newspaper from the side table. The soft sunlight streamed through the white curtains that lose hung on the windows. I flipped through the newspaper scanning through; when my eyes stopped at the article I was searching for.
‘Harry Styles back with cougar ex, Caroline Flack’
Along with the article was a close-up picture of the couple that was posted by Caroline on Twitter earlier. The article stated that Caroline has said that they were back together as she and Harry “couldn’t live without each other.” There were no comments from Harry.
I folded the newspaper back and kept it where I had picked it from. I stood up and made myself another cup of tea. Tears that I had controlled for so long welled up in my eyes as I thought why and where everything went wrong.
|Harry Styles||as Himself|