1.) "If it's a crime to be proud of my heritage then I'm guilty of that, if it's a crime to exercise my own free will, then I'm also guilty of that. And if it's a crime to strangle a man to death, well I guess I'm guilty of that too."
2.) "Your honour, I only murdered your mother because she called me a bad lover."
3.) (To the Judge) "You're pretty high and mighty for a man who wears a dress."
4.) "The truth? You can't handle the truth!"
5.) "Who do you have to rape to get a glass of water around here?"
6.) "Did you say order in the court? I'll have a double cheese burger, onion rings, a chocolate shake and a cherry pie please."
7.) "Look, anybody that would walk in front of my speeding car (regardless of lights and signs) must have been crazy! So I plead not guilty by reason of insanity of my victim."
8.) Have you met my lawyers Smith and Wesson? Do you feel lucky punk? Well do ya?
9.) She wanted me to peep in her window! She left her blinds up (about 2"), she left a rickety ladder locked in her garage for me to climb up to her 3rd floor window, she used a cheap lock on her fence gate to invite me in and she must have trained her guard dogs to be distracted by large chunks of meat so I could get past them. Clearly I was just doing what she invited me to?
10.) If OJ Simpson can do it, why can't I?
11.) I art-fay on your rave-gay!
12.) I didn't know that killing people was against the law, I swear!
13.) Seriously, I wasn't even aiming at him! I don't think it should even count!
14.) You liar! how could you see my face when I was wearing a mask?
15.) If I'm found innocent, can I keep the money that I stole?
16.) It's not my fault! He threw himself at the baseball bat I was swinging toward him in a threatening way!
17.) Your honour, this case can be explained with a fairy tale. I'd like to tell the tale of 'Little Red Raping Hood'...
18.) I'll give you an honorable discharge, if you know what I mean.
19.) Prosecution? More like prostitution! I rest my case.
20.) (To everybody in the court) Silence in the courtroom! The donkey wants to talk! (meaning the judge)
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Fun Things To Do In Public
HumorNeed something funny to do in Public? Check these out. From public restrooms to walmart. From driving to movie theaters. Be sure to check them out, and feel free to try it out too haha
