Something Like Fate (editing)

Chapter 24 - "I Want Sexiness, Not Symbolism"

SUPRISE! A new chapter of 'Something Like Fate', I've decided to write the ending properly since the last one was slightly abrupt. Is it the same ending? Maybe, maybe not. My emotions over these characters keep changing, but the ending shall hopefully tie up any loose ends and give a proper ending full of light, laughter and life to Sophia and her friends. Probably about 3-5 chapters before the end. 

Enjoy x 

"What do you want, Finn?" I said, tucking a strand a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

It was quite a sight to behold: Finn standing at college in a T-Swift t-shirt, which was soaked thanks to Eric, and limply holding a My Little Pony bag at his side. He wore an expression of wariness, as if he expected me to started screaming and shouting in contempt at past words he had uttered, but I wasn't going to let another boy control my emotions. I was upset, of course, yet I've come to understand one very important thing over the course of all the drama which has transpired, which is that I'm not responsible for their actions or words. I can only do what I know is right. I didn't know you were such a slut, Sophia.

I quirked an eyebrow, waiting for the sad boy in front of me to speak. "Finn, if you have something to say then just say it. You weren't this shy the other day."

He visibly shuddered at my reminder of the day when the end of our friendship was sealed, but I didn't say it out of cruelty, I just wanted to get on with my day and in a way my life. "I'm..."he cleared his throat as he trailed of before moving his hand theatrically in front of him. "I'm so sorry, Sophia. I'm so effing sorry, okay? What I said...I didn't mean it, I guess in that moment I just wanted to hurt you in some messed up way to hide how humiliated and pained I had felt at the thought of you and Drew -"

"Okay," I interrupted him, partly to speak and partly to not discuss Drew. This wasn't about him, this was about us. "You were hurt. But not once, not once, did I ever make you any promises. I told you, Finn, I didn't want to start anything between us, that I was far from ready, but you wanted it to mean something. I can't do anything when it comes to how you feel, I don't want anything to do with your feelings."

"I know," he rushed out. "And I get that, I do. It's just I had liked you for so long, Sophia, you really have no idea. Your friend is all I ever was so when we kissed I thought that...I don't even know. It was finally our chance and I took that bit of hope and ran away with it when I knew, oh," he bitterly laughed "that you never really felt the same."

"If you have feelings for me then it's on you. You cannot speak to me like that, you cannot shame me. We kissed, get over it, Finn. Your chapped lip against mine doesn't mean that I want you in the same way you want me, and it just makes me wonder if I ever knew you at all."

"You know me," he begged, reaching for my hands as I stepped back. "I'm still Muffin. And that's why I'm dressed like this, okay? I look like a fucking prick, but I know, I know, how shit I made you feel the other day, so I'm embarrassing myself to somehow ask you to forgive me. It's not the same, of course, but I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking "how the hell did this shit happen?""

He gave me a shaky smile, unsure of whether the Beyoncé reference would help his cause. It was so weird, Finn and I had been friends for so long yet standing there it was as if I was staring at a stranger. We couldn't just pretend as if all of this hadn't happened, we shouldn't, because it would be a lie. A lie which would forever haunt our friendship, revealing itself at the darkest moments, and making the foundation of trust crumble until we had fallen. Finn wasn't my best friend anymore; he was just a boy I used to know.

"I appreciate you apologizing in your own way," I began slowly, making sure I kept eye contact no matter how much I wanted to look away, "but I don't forgive you. Not yet. Perhaps one day I'll be able to forgive you, however, I certainly won't forget."