This etext was prepared by Les Bowler, St. Ives, Dorset from the 1899 Hurst and Blackett edition.
The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Contents
On the art of making up one's mind. On the disadvantage of not getting what one wants. On the exceptional merit attaching to the things we meant to do. On the preparation and employment of love philtres. On the delights and benefits of slavery. On the care and management of women. On the minding of other people's business. On the time wasted in looking before one leaps. On the nobility of ourselves. On the motherliness of man. On the inadvisability of following advice. On the playing of marches at the funerals of marionettes.
ON THE ART OF MAKING UP ONE'S MIND
"Now, which would you advise, dear? You see, with the red I shan't be able to wear my magenta hat."
"Well then, why not have the grey?"
"Yes--yes, I think the grey will be MORE useful."
"It's a good material."
"Yes, and it's a PRETTY grey. You know what I mean, dear; not a COMMON grey. Of course grey is always an UNINTERESTING colour."
"Its quiet."
"And then again, what I feel about the red is that it is so warm-looking. Red makes you FEEL warm even when you're NOT warm. You know what I mean, dear!"
"Well then, why not have the red? It suits you--red."
"No; do you really think so?"
"Well, when you've got a colour, I mean, of course!"
"Yes, that is the drawback to red. No, I think, on the whole, the grey is SAFER."
"Then you will take the grey, madam?"
"Yes, I think I'd better; don't you, dear?"
"I like it myself very much."
"And it is good wearing stuff. I shall have it trimmed with--Oh! you haven't cut it off, have you?"
"I was just about to, madam."
"Well, don't for a moment. Just let me have another look at the red. You see, dear, it has just occurred to me--that chinchilla would look so well on the red!"
"So it would, dear!"
"And, you see, I've got the chinchilla."
"Then have the red. Why not?"
"Well, there is the hat I'm thinking of."
"You haven't anything else you could wear with that?"
"Nothing at all, and it would go so BEAUTIFULLY with the grey.--Yes, I think I'll have the grey. It's always a safe colour--grey."
"Fourteen yards I think you said, madam?"
"Yes, fourteen yards will be enough; because I shall mix it with-- One minute. You see, dear, if I take the grey I shall have nothing to wear with my black jacket."
"Won't it go with grey?"
"Not well--not so well as with red."
"I should have the red then. You evidently fancy it yourself."
"No, personally I prefer the grey. But then one must think of EVERYTHING, and--Good gracious! that's surely not the right time?"
"No, madam, it's ten minutes slow. We always keep our clocks a little slow!"
