Not Myself Anymore

Not myself anymore

She stared straight at me

Her eyes bright green

Her lashes fluttering

And iris big and sheen

Felt my stomach tingle

And my fingers mingle

And my breathing stop

Suddenly  I dropped my stack of Pringles

She didn’t know id be here

Her expression full of fear

Her world had completely stopped

Even though I was far, she knew I was I so near

I noticed the boy

And I knew I was a decoy

And a toy that has been thrown away

Because of the least of the owner’s joy

But what she hadn’t noticed

Was that I would no longer be her apprentice

Was she feeling the pain I feel now?

Did she remember that just yesterday we had just watched the solstice

I remember now

How I took her hand and a little bow

How I took her breath away long ago without a single word

 she’d laugh and playfully hit me when I’d raise a brow.

But now that my hearts broken and torn

A new me is born

A more stronger, tougher, and meaner me

What I was before is not me, not me, not me!

“We’re just friends!” she cried pulling me into reality

But when I saw her on his lap

I lost all of my normality

Cant she feel the guilt settle in?

“Sure!” I spat at her “Forget it!”

Even if we got along ever again

I would never see her that way again

I would see her and her boy together play over again and again

I am a totally new person

I am not myself anymore…