How to Be Cliche (A Novel)

(42) You Got Me Right in the Kangaroo

 Sorry for the slow updates, I'm focusing on the rewrite for Death Is My BFF because I plan on getting it published! Take a look at it, if you haven't already. I promise you'll love it!                

Also, you might want to reread a few chapters since I haven't updated in a while. Sorry! <3333333 xoxoxo

P.S- This chapter was written purely for humor so please don't start any fights or I will delete them and block you. 

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               "Smiley's right behind me with a freshly sharpened machete, isn't he?"

                  They all nodded.

                  "Ronny," I whispered slowly, feeling the heat of Hunter's body behind me. Any moment now, he was going to go ape-shit. So I created a code, and hoped to God that Ronny and I had a gay best friend to sassy best friend bond that was strong enough that we could telepathically communicate. I had read that in Cosmo somewhere... "Dark Orchid Jimmy Choos are on sale. I repeat, Jimmy Choos are on sale!"

              Ronny frowned at me. Damnit, he didn't get the code. "Pumps or sandals?" he asked.

              "Pumps!"

              "Hey, Serial Killer with a Nice Ass!" Smiley's attention switched to Ronny. Ronny flicked his sparkling star wand out. "Eat my sparkles!" An explosion of glitter and colorful smoke rocketed out of Ronny's wand and hit Hunter right in his Smiley mask. He was thrown into a coughing fit, which somehow emphasized Hunter's deep, smooth and sexy voice in my head.

              Lord, he was a Sex God.

              "Into the cell!" I shouted, quickly unlocking the cell and throwing everyone inside. Gary was the most reluctant, ready to fight Smiley, but with a hard kick of my boot into his ass, he was forced inside. I was the last one in and locked the cell closed.

              "Quick, make sure he can't get in!" I commanded Ronny.

              He flicked his wand at the jail bars, and explosion of glitter rocketing out of the wand. "Lady Gaga is my Mother Monster!" he shouted. "There, that should do it! Now we're safe from him."

              " Lady Gaga is queen!" Jock said, pressed against the corner of the cell. His big line backer body shrunk the cell. "I went to see her in concert!"

              Ronny pursed his lips. "What about Britney Spears?"

              "I know the choreography to all of her music videos, and I was her for Halloween!" He looked off into the distance. "I worked that mini skirt..."

              Ronny narrowed his eyes, looking at Jock skeptically. "Are you sure you're not gay?"

               Hunter shook himself like a dog, his coughing finally coming to a halt. Glitter surrounded his mask and lay like a thin blanket all over his clothes. His head whipped towards me and a low growl slipped from his mouth.

              He totally wanted some Pepper on his steak.

                  "Ronny!" I gripped his shoulders. "Are you sure this cell is Serial Killer protected?"

                  Hunter tried to stab his machete through the bars of the jail cell, but as if an invisible wall had been placed in front of our cell, the machete bounced back and the handle of the blade smacked into Hunter's mask. "Jock Twain!" he began, his voice changer activated.  This voice changer had a striking resemblance to Bane's voice in The Dark Knight Rises, and I started to hysterically laugh. "You are next on my list. If you don't come out within the next minute, your family will be slaughtered."