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Blurry is the Line Between Love and Lust: A Tears of Shame Novel [EDITING]

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As always, don't forget to vote, comment and fan... I love to read your comments & appreciate them. Thanks, Crissy =:)

This is one of my favorites... it's so touching....

Sorry if you feel it's repetitive, but it is REALLY important .. it almost make me want to cry it's so sweet :)

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Recap chap 14:

I loved them both in very different ways. One was sexy and lustful. One was loving and compassionate. In that moment, the line became clear. I knew who I wanted, who I couldn't have lived without. I knew who would have died if they had to live without me. I took a few breaths to calm myself. Tears overflowed. They were tears of joy and sorrow. For one it would have meant happiness, for the other it would have meant agony.

I opened my eyes and faintly whispered a name. My choice.

"Xavier."

 

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Chapter 15: Wash Away the Shame

 

 

Arianna POV

 

 

He carried me to my room, cradled me like a precious prize and slowly set me on the soft bed. I was unsure of what I would have said to him, what I thought. I knew I brought this upon myself. I was ashamed, regretful and fearful that he wouldn't have seen me in the same way after what happened to me. What had I been thinking? He loved me. He sat next to me, stroked my hair and gently embraced me.

 

 

"Thank you." I breathed a weak but meaningful sentiment.

 

 

"There's nothing to thank me for. I love you." He glanced at me, surveyed my ravaged body. I knew he felt afraid, felt the shame that was in my heart. He shook his head weakly, like he beat back some shameful feelings of his own. He got up to leave, but I couldn't have let him walk away. Not like this.

 

 

"You should get cleaned up. I love you and everything, but you look like hell." He joked, tried to lighten the dark mood that enveloped us. I needed to wash away the guilt and shame that covered me. He needed to wash his away as well. This was the only way we could have started again, gotten past what happened.  

 

 

"Will you help me? I don't think I can do it myself." I knew the answer I wanted. I just hadn't thought I would have gotten it from him.

 

 

"I'll get Maria. I don't think I..." He trailed off questioningly.

 

 

"I don't want anyone else to touch me. I want you." He was thoughtful for a moment, warred with himself. I knew he wanted the same thing I had, to wash it all away.

 

 

He carried me to the bathroom and set me gently next to the tub. He ran a hot bath, while I removed the sheet and what remained of my clothes. His eyes swept across me. I was embarrassed. Not because I hadn't wanted him to see me naked before him, but because I knew the anger and guilt he would have felt when he looked at me.

 

 

He would never have seen me the same. He would have seen other hands on me. Hands that touched me, scarred me. This was what I wanted to avoid. This was why he had to be the one to help wash it away.

 

 

I sat in the tub and let the hot soapy water soothe me. He washed my hair and pulled it from my face carefully. His cool hands swept over every part of my body, not in a sexual way, in an intimate, loving, respectful way. He removed the pain and regret with his touch. I knew it was difficult for him to have done this, to have seen me and touched me this way.

 

 

I never once thought he would have lost control or be overcome with lust and desire. It wasn't about that, and I knew he felt the same. I cried. I just cried. There was nothing more I could have done. I wanted his hands to have been the first hands that touched my bare skin so intimately, but they weren't. I couldn't have changed that. I accepted it and moved on, he had to as well.

 

 

After I dressed, I found him lying on my bed, deep in thought. He looked calm, but his eyes betrayed him. In them I saw misery, an ocean of pain. Then I saw acceptance and love. I cuddled close to him, as close as I could've gotten. I craved the feeling of security his strong arms provided.

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Cast

Isla Fisheras Arianna
Chris Cornellas Xavier
Chester Benningtonas Ronan
Kate Beckinsaleas Selene
Ian McKellenas King Asteroth
Jake Gyllenhaalas Zander
Ali Larteras Genavieve

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