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YO(U) A(R)E (U)GLY

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CHAPTER 21

 

 

 

“Your dad and I are going to the mechanic to go and get the car fixed, d’you want to come with us?”

 

Going to the mechanics was hardly a fun family day out and besides if I really wanted to go I couldn’t.

 

“I can’t come, Angelo has some work for me to do”, I explained as sorrowfully as I can.

 

Still lying down on my bed, I tightened my bed covers around me, pulling them up so they covered the silly smile that I had on. My mum didn’t need to see that.

 

And I wasn’t smiling at the prospect of seeing him. Pshtt, forget that. It was because I was going to be washing his dirty dishes and doing his laundry. Yep that’s right, I was happily soaking up, my life as a housemaid.

 

My mother, who up until now was standing at the doorway of my room, came walking inside until she was next to me at the head of my bed. Taking something out of her bag, she finally placed them on my bedside table.

 

Having taken notice of the foiled squares, I thought my eyes were going to pop out their sockets. My mum, who was playing oblivious to my shocked expression, patted me on my head and lowered her head until there was a small distance between us, before saying in a whisper, “Remember mommy loves you.”

 

Raising her head, she lightly laughed as she retreated out of my room finally paying attention to my I-just-saw-Jesus-come-back-to life shocked expression, but before closing the door behind her she said, “We’re taking Bobby along with us.”

 

 Ripping the covers away from me, I stood in front of the bedside table just staring in amazement at the small, squared packages for awhile. I was in a Dora-The-Explorer mood so I picked an orange one up; it felt slightly cold to touch. Hm. There was nothing much to it, it had the name of the brand and in small prints it said, ‘1 latex condom’ and I guess it said the same thing in the other languages.  Deciding to go all the way, haha, I tore open the corners and was a bit cautious to what I would find, but all I did find was, an orange circle shaped thing. Okay, whatever. Placing the wrapper back on the bedside table but retaining the condom, I poked the centre with my pointer finger not really sure of what I was doing. Having rolled out the thicker outer bit with my other hand, the condom now looked like a long, orange translucent balloon. This ‘balloon’ though had some sort of grease on it, what it up with that?

 

That’s the lubricant, dumbo. Remember you got told that at health class?

 

 

Shut up brain, I knew that. I remember back at health class I had seen a demonstration on how you put the condoms on using a pretend penis and a lot of the students had willingly volunteered to try and put one on but I didn’t, it wasn’t like I was going to do anything any time soon.

 

A banana could work, hmm I wonder if there were any bananas at home?

 

My phone vibrated put that question on hold as I laid it on the torn wrapper and before I retrieved my phone from underneath my pillow I wiped off the oily substance from my fingers on my pyjama bottoms.

 

From: Buttbag

 

 

Babe, I’m going to pick you up in about half an hour.

 

 

As much as I tried to restrain the ridiculous smile off of my face I couldn’t and I felt my heart pound a little quicker at what he referred me as. Urgh, this is stupid.

 

Realisation finally dawned on me that I only had a limited time to get ready and then I remembered that I still needed to find a hiding place for these condoms, unless I wanted to get axe-murdered by my dad.

 

I didn’t think there was anywhere safe in my room to put them in; underneath my mattress would be the typical place to put it and that’s the first place anyone would look so I thought the wisest choice would be to take them with me wherever I went until I thought of somewhere to put them. With that decided I put them inside the black, small, side bag that I would carry out with me today. Now all I needed to do was get ready.

 

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