The pantry, under the bed, even in the woods behind the house; I just need to hide.
I repeated these words in my head as I ran through the house looking for some mean of escape or shelter. I could hear my brother behind me, chasing me, head spinning. I ran up the stairs into my room and slammed the door shut and threw my body into it; he did the same.
I could feel the warm tears fall down my face as my heart began beating out of my chest. Please don’t have a heart attack, or worse; a panic attack. I’ve had panic attacks before and they ain’t fun. You feel like your world is crashing down around you and your heart is working over board. Your mind starts to race and it feels like wind is piercing your face when it’s really sweat and your anxiety.
I looked around my room as my brother did another smash into the door, trying to get me. I swear one of these days the door is going to fall off its hinges.
The closet, that’s it. I ran toward it, adrenalin racing through my veins. I whipped my cloths back and went into the corner of the dark, cramped, spider infested crawl space. I breathed out a breath of assurance, trying to think positive. I kept my eyes wide and breathe low so no one, not even the spider above my head, knew I was there.
I could hear him throw his body at my door once again and finally the lock on my door fell out. There goes another one.
Although I could only hear my brother, I could almost see exactly what’s happening.
He runs in and looks for me to throw whatever he grabbed downstairs. But then he sees know ones in the room and he lets out a frustrated yell and then goes downstairs to cry on the couch, ashamed of his actions.
This is how it goes every time; same old routine. And it was no different this time.
As he went downstairs I let my breath out, happy I survived another one of Bobby’s breakdowns. Yes, my brother has breakdowns; only because he has autism.
Bobby has an over sensitive nervous system, which means even the slightest move or noise can set him off. And that’s exactly what happened tonight. I sneezed.
Not even a big, obnoxious, gross one; but a tiny, mouse-like, sneeze in my arm. Immediately after it happened, I knew I was dead meat; I had to get out of there. I first thought to run out of the house but I feared the neighbors or Lance might see, so I ran to my room; like I always do.
It’s like a war-zone in my house, anything you do might set the bomb off. Of course Tubby doesn’t guard me, the little chicken hides. But I guess I’m just as much of a chicken as him.
And it’s not like my parents don’t try to stop this. They’re willing to throw their bodies in front of me. But when your home alone with him, you’re on your own. Defenseless.
He feels bad though. He doesn’t have control over his break downs. It’s like nails on a chalk board, you want those nails to stop but imagine them never ending; that’s how Bobby feels when I sneezed.
I sit on my bed, not making a noise. I hold my breath as I hear him start to get up and laugh at something on the television. I breathe out. Clear.
“So what were you doing with Kourtneys BF?” I asked Hannah, a grin on my face. She looked up from the cheesy popcorn in her lap.
“You know nothing was up! We’re science partners!” She said, obviously annoyed that people are spreading rumors about her trying to take Chad away from Kourtney, or Thing 1.
“You know who I wouldn’t mind being science partner with?” Brittany eyed both of us in her pink and purple polka-dot pajamas. I rolled my eyes.
“Let me guess, Lance Pierre?” I said in a disgusted voice. She gasped.
“Ooh, even the name gives me shivers” She hid under her blanket.
“I may not have anything with Chad, but I wouldn’t mind to start something with that boy!” Hannah smiled and laughed along with Britt. Okay, am I seriously the only one not insane?
“Guys, listen to yourselves. This is Lance Pierre! You’ll never, in a million years be with a guy like him. He’s a stuck up popular. You know, since he moved in next door-”. They stared at me.
“He moved in next door?”
“And you didn’t say anything?” I looked across at my overly obsessed friends.