A 13 year old girl leading a normal life in a middle school where everyone was fake. No one cared about the good things in your life...just the bad. I met you there. You were with her when I met you. I thought of you as any other guy in the school. My best friend and I hung out with your girlfriend but you and I never talked. The first time we said hi to each other was just like anything else I've ever done. I didn't give it much thought.
It was your last year...and we had only been talking for a couple months. I never imagined myself falling for you. We became best friends...We talked about anything and everything.
Remember the nicknames? Monkey and Skittles...yeah, I remember.
I remember the pain in your eyes when she broke up with you. I remember how bad I felt to see you so hurt. I wanted to hug you and take away all the pain. I hated her for hurting you so bad. I became your "Dr.Phil"...yeah, I remember that too. I would catch myself looking for you when I was with her and my friend. At first I didn't know what I was searching for...until I would see you...I started questioning why I searched for you so frantically. I ignored everything around me just to look for you. I wanted to make sure you were okay and then I would see the way you looked at her. With a pain that made me hate her more and more each day. I didn't understand her...I didn't understand how she could let go of you...
That was when I accepted my feeling for you...I accepted that I had fallen for you. I began to attempt to deny it to myself but I couldn't. My whole day would light up as soon as I saw you.
I remember feeling angry and hurt when you talked about her...but I knew you loved her so I did everything I could to get you guys back together. It hurt but I didn't care...I wanted you happy and it didn't matter if I wasn't part of it. I was willing to hurt in order for you to be happy.
She didn't feel the same way because she went for another. She had lied to you. Her parents hadn't made her break up with you...it was just an excuse. She had cheated on you. I was angry. I was hurt FOR you.
I'll never forget the day we first hung out at school. Just us two. No one else. I was the happiest girl as I walked up while you played soccer. I watched you and you came toward me. You embraced me and my whole world stopped spinning. it was just us two. That's when you told me about her cheating. I remember hugging you. You looked okay, though. I didn't quite understand.
That Friday...that 4th of February. I'll never forget it.
A usual day of us texting. A usual night where we were talking.
You asked what I was doing...I was honest and told you I was thinking of a guy I liked. You asked who. I didn't want to tell you. I told you to guess. You asked me to spell the name and you guessed yourself. I took my friend's advice and told you it was you. I was so afraid. I was trembling because I didn't want to lose our friendship.
You called me. I didn't understand why but I answered.
I remember your words.
"I didn't want to say this over text but I'd like to let you know that I like you, too. I fell for you, Karen"
My heart skipped a beat as I heard these words. As I heard your voice tell me you had fallen for ME...I didn't know what to say.
I had a boyfriend at the time but he had wanted to end things for a while so I told him it was over. I didn't care about anything or anyone just you. I knew the problems it would bring. I knew the drama that would erupt. I didn't care...I was willing to risk it all for you...& I did.
Monday, February 7th. Remember that day? Cause I do. I still remember the taste of our first kiss...do you?
I still have the picture of us hugging that day. We walked together and I remember you stopped me in the hallways. I didn't have time to react before you pulled me in and pressed your lips against mine. My eyes fluttered shut and I forgot about everything and everyone around me. It was just us. That's all that mattered. We both smiled as we pulled away. You kissed me again and walked me to my class. I was walking on air. I was floating. The last two classes passed by in a blur. I was smiling a true smile for once in a very long time.
