Chapter Thirty - Ross

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  • Dedicated to Everyone Who Loved Harper
                                    

Chapter Thirty – Ross


Harper was unconscious again. He wasn't on life support, but he was struggling to breathe on his own and was on oxygen. The doctors upped the IVs, gave him even stronger doses of antibiotics and steroids, and he was under constant observation. They told us they were doing everything they could, but that they really didn't know if he would pull through.

"I was talking to him just this morning," I said numbly.

The doctor nodded. "Sometimes changes can happen really fast. I promise that Harper isn't in any pain right now, we just have to hope that his immune system isn't damaged enough that we can't help him fight it off."

"How long until we know if he's going to be okay?" Jasper asked, letting me switch off my attention and turn back to see Harper. We were allowed in for now, but the doctor said that if his condition worsened they would need to transfer him to an intensive care unit.

It felt so wrong to see Harper's face not smiling, but solemn and serious, his eyes closed and his arms down by his side. It didn't feel like he was real. It was as though a lifesize doll of Harper was lying there, completely empty and unaware, and the real Harper would walk in at any moment and laugh at me.

"If he wakes up, I'm going to kill him," Edward muttered, standing next to me. He had a full face of makeup still, but was wearing his regular clothes. It was a bizarre sight. He eyed me. "Not going to run away again, are you?"

"I wouldn't dare," I gestured to his clenched fists. "What about you, hm? Going to finally tell Harper you've been in love with him for a decade, or what?"

Edward shot me a foul look. "We tried dating, it didn't work, drop it."

"That was seven years ago," I reminded him, and then sighed. "Maybe you should just try going for it again. Who knows, maybe you'd actually work out this time."

"I cannot believe you are giving me dating advice," Edward said bluntly. Jasper was still talking to the doctor, so he quietly asked, "What about you two?"

"We aren't dating," I replied.

"Yeah, I'm not blind," he replied sarcastically. "I meant what are you going to do in the future, like when he goes off to uni? Are you going to keep things going, or what?"

I didn't want to think about that, but it beat thinking about Harper, so I replied, "No. I doubt it, anyway. We aren't romantic partners, we're just... who we are." Seeing his sceptical expression, I said, "He said he loves me, Ed. I can't return that-"

"You won't return that," he corrected.

"Whichever it is, it's not feasible, at least not now," I said firmly. "He needs to go and enjoy his time at uni, fuck around, have a life. And I need to sort my shit out. Maybe one day, we'll figure it out, but right now, it's not going to work."

Edward considered my words, and said, "I think you're right."

"You do?" I asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "It's kind of like me and Harper. Back then, he was dealing with accepting his illness, figuring out what he wanted to do in life. I was enjoying my life in the clubs, working my way up in the drag world. We found each other, and we cared for each other, but... it wasn't time. It wasn't our time."

I nodded. "And this isn't our time."

"When are you going to talk to him about it?" Edward asked.

I cringed at the thought. "Once Harper is better," I said firmly. "I'm not doing anything until Harper is better. I can't deal with all of it at once - I need him to be okay before I do anything."

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