Uhibbu Arafah - I love you, Arafah.
I want to remember everything about Arafah.
For hajj is wuquf in Arafah and Arafah is the heart of hajj.
I want to remember how us hujjaz stopped performing umrah a few days before the wuquf, in an effort to recoup our strength and gain back our health. The whole Malaysian camp in the hotel were mostly afflicted with the 'cough' - it's a dry kind of cough, once it started, it was continuous and rather painful. Come to think of it, it was actually quite comical - as we solat jemaah at the musolla in the hotel, there would be the rhythm of the 'cough' as each jemaah started to cough and then the others joined in the music, or 'cocophany', more like.
I had the 'cough' myself - pretty bad too. To add to the ill health, I had heard horror stories about conditions in Arafah - the toilets, the challenges, the petty squabbles - the place where our sins are 'seen'. I was worrying quite a lot and my blood pressure also went berserk one of those days, but the calmness of the doctor attending made me realized that I really must leave everything to the will of Allah. Only HE alone can make the difficult easy. Allahu Hafiz! (Allah The Protector)
I especially want to remember the plains of Arafah - its brown sands and pebbles.
I want to remember the hill of Arafah - witnesses to thousands of those before me who thronged its foot - all seeking Allah's mercy and love.
I want to remember the sparse trees that were planted on Arafah's plains - thin, willowy but strong nevertheless, and as they swayed in the slight breeze, they seemed to beckon the hujjaz to stay out of the tents, to join them, there - out in the open, under Allah's skies, under HIS mercy.
I want to remember the white tents of Arafah - neatly arranged, with slits as doors, beautiful and colourful geometric patterns on the inside, on the 'roof' of the tents, bringing to mind romanticised notions of a time long gone - of gipsies and black clad ladies.. The tents were arranged close to each other, with the roofs overlapping. But where the joining was not good, you could actually looked up from inside your tent and see the skies above.
I want to remember that night before the wuquf when it was announced that it might rained that night. I could already see some happy clouds in the night skies through the opening. RAIN! Where can we go if it rained??? I actually packed my bag, just in case it rained and the flood rise in our tents.
Alhamdulillah, it did not rain but I remember looking up that night, and through that opening between the two tents, I could actually see the moon looking down back at us, sisters in rememberance of Allah.
I want to remember that wuquf in Arafah - how hot it was, because I chose to sit under that 'crack' in the roof - the same crack which had allowed me to catch the moonlight the night before and now, the sun was shining full blast on me that zuhur in Arafah. I chose to be at that spot because an older sis was caught in that heat and I saw how she struggled, sweating and all and thought I should be there because I had more to answer to Allah than her.
Oh! I can't remember exactly what the sermon was at that wuquf - but I remember the equally hot tears that flowed unashamedly there in the tent. We were many but alone - alone in the remembrance of our arrogance, our sins, our purposeful straying from the rememberance of the All Mighty and Magnificent One. If I had come to you then, my Allah - would you have accepted this heart, this submission, this drunkenness, this drowning in the feeling of YOUR love on us???
And I want to remember just the two of us, outside of our tent, under the open skies, just the two of us, reading the Qur'an, reciting doas, and for that moment, felt as one, in our hope of a better future and in our seeking of HIS mercy on us, our children, our family.
For Arafah, you are truly a land of love - a land of rahmah, where Prophet Adam a.s. met his beloved Hawa a.s.
For in Arafah, truly, I felt Allah's love and mercy on us like no other than on that day in Arafah. HIS presence was so permeating, it was in air, in the tents, on the plains, in the breeze, in the skies, in the trees, everywhere in Arafah.
And I want to remember that sunset in Arafah - as the sun slowly sank in the horizon and the lamps are lit in the tents, I was still looking at it, still praying, still gazing, still mesmerised by the comfort of that wuquf, the serenity, the acceptance, the focus -oh! I did not want that Arafah sun to go away!
WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN? WILL I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN IN THIS LIFETIME...
Thank you Allah, for bringing me to Arafah.
Uhibbu Arafah...
(14.11.2010)
