#selfie ✌ stylinson [DISCONTINUED]

#eight

{MAY HAVE MISTAKES}

Louis

"But he kissed a girl!" I pout.

"Um, Lou, it looks like the girl went for it fi--" 

"He kissed a girl, Liam! Lips on lips. It like dick to va--"

"I thought the fucker was gay!" Zayn pipes in, biting his bottom lip.

"Don't you dare call my sunshine a fucker, Mr!" I send a death glare towards him as he smirks with joy. Niall chuckles lightly, still looking at the picture of Harry kissing---the thing, It's not even a thing, it's just there. Ugh. I don't understand this. I mean, Harry looks quite off guard by the sudden kiss but still--

His lips are sucking off a some brunette girl's lips. Um, no, this is unacceptable. His lips should be sucking something else if you catch what I'm putting down. Something much bigger, I must add.

"I mean, come on, this is like what? The first picture someone captured of this and you can't really know if this actually really happened, you know." Niall says, sipping his lemonade from his 'yes baby, I'm Irish' mug. Liam raises an eyebrow, nodding as I roll my eyes.

"Whatever this fandom you're in, aren't you guys amazing with photoshop?"

I nod, "Trust me we aren't just amazing with it, we were born for it. I swear some of us are like experts on this shit! Manips and everything; brilliant,"

Zayn laughs, "Ha, Louis like you're good at it. Guys, I still remember searching through his phone and seeing this awful manip of himself with Harry. Jesus, I swear, it was fucking hilarious," 

"Wait what? You! I-" I can't form words right now because he's laughing his arse off like an idiot.

"Whoopsie daisy," he continues holding his stomach and falling to the floor as his laugh booms across the room. I begin to open my mouth but then close it because I know that any moment from now, I might launch myself across the coffee table and attack him. Just like that scene from Mean Girls.

"Anyways," I huff, crossing my arms over my naked chest. "The problem is that my future husband has his lips on that---thing!"

"Mate, calm down. Let's see if we can find her name," Niall suggests, grabbing my phone away from my lap and I make a small sound in protest but he brushes it off as he continues to tap around on the screen. I hate it when people take my phone but I still take others' phones away. I'm so fucked up.

I look to see that Zayn has finally stopped laughing and of course, he's scrolling down his phone as he drinks from a Polar Springs water bottle.

"So while Niall does that," Liam turns his full attention on me. "Random questions then, yeah?"

I shrug, "Whateves,"

"Alright, what's your main goal in life?"

I laugh loudly, wiping a fake tear away from my eye, "Oh dear, Liam as you know, many of them involve Harry but the main ones are, to suck his big dick, marry him, have children with him,"

Liam cringes his nose in discomfort, running his fingers through his wild hair, "What if he has a small di-"

"Oh please, considering how tight the boy's skinnies are, I can see the outline of his mighty fine dick from miles and miles away!" 

"Okay then! I'm done, Hashtag done with this boy. Niall! What do you have so far?" Liam claps and I chuckle again, not even sorry for causing his discomfort. Hey, facts are facts.

"Um," He bites his fingernail. "The girl's name is Kendall Jenner and she's popular on twitter,"

Oh my god. No. Wait.

"Kendall! My good lord, she's friends with Eleanor! Liam, remember, the tall girl with straight brunette hair?" I gasp, tugging at Liam's Batman pajama pants. He scoffs.

"The flat chested one?"

Suddenly, liquid droplets are being sputtered everywhere and laughing follows behind it. I glance and see Niall and Zayn in a laughing fit, not really caring that their whole spit population just landed on Liam and I. I groan, snatching my phone away from Niall's hands as they both continue to go into la-la land or whatever.

"Yes, the flat chested one, Liam."

"Yeah," Liam continues, "I remember. I think she was there when you made me take that crazy selfie for the contest,"

"Well, she's kissing my man!" I stand up, putting my hands on my hips. Liam rolls his eyes, chuckling a bit. Of course, he's not going to take this seriously because he doesn't fanboy at all.

He doesn't know the fanboy/fangirl struggle at all. Screw him and his normal life.

I throw my middle finger at him and stomp off away from him, running up the stairs to fetch a random shirt and a pair of black skinnies. I quickly style my hair into a cinnamon bun like and brush my teeth. I  throw on my black Vans and light blue jean jacket and skip down the stairs, meeting my best friends who completely don't understand how much I fanboy over Harry Styles again. It's a lifestyle, deal with it.

"I'm going out. Don't expect me to come home wasted and smelling like sex!"

"You know Lou," Zayn looks up, smirking. "I hope you get banged by Harry Styles, Hope he goes so deep that you sc--"

Liam pats his back, stopping him from continuing on, "Alright, buddy, that's enough Tumblr for you Zayn,"

Why am I friends with these people?

I wave them off, leaving through the blue front door and shutting it with caution because you know, Ms. Dunbar would probably kill my arse again for slamming the door. I begin to walk towards town, just randomly needing fresh air to surround me. What it the photo is actually photoshopped? What if Kendall actually planned it without Harry knowing? I mean, she's known for sneaking on guys like that and obviously, Harry being Tumblr famous and all, she went for him like he was the only fish in the sea. Well excuse me but I caught him first. 

Hm, she probably got jealous of Harry's selfie with me.

"Oops,"

A small pain floats throughout my left elbow and before I know it, I'm on the concrete ground. I groan, clutching it as I look up. I hold back a laugh as the person lets out a chuckle from underneath the horse head mask. I've seen so many of those around. I want one.

"Hi,"

☹☹☹☺☺☺☹☹☹

guys, hi

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-eddie