My Fake Boyfriend PREQUEL TO SUCK MY LOLLIPOP

Chapter 30

I never believed it when people would tell me stories of how their best friends had abandoned them in their time of need. I always thought in the back of my mind, ‘well obviously you weren’t best friends in the first place’. I can honestly say that I thought Chase and I had a better bond than that.

The thing about best friends is, you expect them to always be there.

It was an entire day since my outburst and Chase hadn’t spoken to me once. I wasn’t exactly expecting him to, but that didn’t stop me from hoping for some cliché romance movie moment. My wildest fantasies were based off of the many romances I had watched in my short 17 years and I couldn’t get them out of my head. Honestly, I was beginning to regret watching so many, because the scenarios were beginning to slowly drive me insane.

I spent that afternoon holed up in my room refusing to talk to anyone. I shut off my phone and locked my window so even Kayla couldn’t disturb me. After about an hour or so of just lounging in my room I decided that I needed some air. I picked myself off of my bed, pulled my hair out of my face, and slowly made my way downstairs. “Dad I’m going for a walk,” I called to him wherever he was in the house. My voice was a bit unstable, as I hadn’t had much of a need for it alone in my room.

“Wait Chastity,” he called after me as I was nearly out the door. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah dad, I’m fine,” I told him.

“Okay, just be careful out there,” he warned me.

I shook my head and told him that I would be fine. “It’s just a walk, I’m not going into the woods or anything.”

“Don’t you dare go anywhere but this block do you understand me Chastity Hanford?” my dad asked using his ‘parental authority voice’.

“Dad!” I shouted in aggravation. “I will be fine!” I shut the door tightly behind me and started to walk. As soon as I left the safety of my house I was overwhelmed with millions of thoughts. They started off like they always did; one seemingly harmless thought would spiral out into a million others that would grow worse and worse until I couldn’t handle it anymore. As I crumpled to the ground, I couldn’t help but think about everything that had gone on in the past few months. From that night when Chase had agreed to be my fake boyfriend, to my dad calling my mom to give me the sex talk. My mind raced over that one kiss that Chase and I had shared in his bedroom when no one was looking. I did my best to block out the pointless feelings I had for Wyatt and how deranged and pathetic I must have looked for lusting after him for so long when it was clear to everyone but me that it was nothing more than a summer fling.

So many other parts about my past tortured me as I sat there vulnerable on the sidewalk. “How could you be so stupid?” I asked myself more than enough times, but I couldn’t come up with an answer. I was supposed to be a junior in high school, but I was acting just like I had in the eighth grade, and that was the year I had tried so hard to forget.

Then I had one of those moments where everything became clear to me. I hadn’t gotten over Wyatt because a part of me was still that girl who believed in love at first sight, I had fallen for Chase because I still thought that best friends belonged together, and I was in this situation because I had been that defenseless girl for so long.

After I realized what I had been missing for so long, I stood up from the sidewalk absolutely disgusted with myself. “I’ve become the Bella Swan of my own life,” I muttered under my breath as I came to a good analogy. “God Chastity, you are so pathetic, what’s wrong with you?” I asked myself in spite. “You need to fix this!” And make a fool of yourself in the process? No thanks. “Oh shut up!” I shouted at the voice in my head, earning a few well-deserved stares from an old couple walking past. What are you looking at huh? I thought to myself as they judged me. Think it’s funny to see a teenager going insane? Yeah that’s right keep walking! There’s nothing to see here! Oh how I wished I had the balls to actually say that. When they finally turned the corner I searched for more pedestrians before resuming my freak out. “This needs to stop,” I grumbled.