The Stripper Equation

Be as Honest as Daphne's Skirt is Long

        I headed out into the street making my way to Daphne's so we can go to lunch.  She was sitting out on her stoop trying to look as mad at me as she could.  "So where are we going to eat?"  I waited for her to respond.  I was expecting her to pick somewhere super expensive to punish me.

        She stood up and flipped her hair in my face as she turned and started walking down the block.  The hair flip indicated that she actually was upset.  I thought she was just being dramatic on the phone this morning but now I was actually beginning to feel guilty.  I trailed along behind her trying to keep up.  She was walking fast on purpose.  I must admit I was a little surprised when she turned into a small Cuban restaurant.  If she wasn’t going to make me suffer monetarily I was a little afraid of how she was going to make me suffer.  They showed us to a table immediately and we were seated across the table from each other.  Neither of us spoke.  All that could be heard was the sound of clanking glasses and Spanish music.

There wasn't any need to wait for her she would continue giving me the silent treatment.  The only thing she can do better than talk herself out of anything was giving the silent treatment.  Daphne once remained silent for a whole month ignoring Gloria, after she had called Daphne a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend.  I needed to break the ice.  "Well at least you aren't lobster mad at me.  I am a little short on cash this week."

Daphne wouldn’t look at me.  “I am lobster mad Len.  I am supposed to be your best friend, how could you not tell me?  Best friends don’t lie to one another.”  She looked me in the eye and she looked hurt.  “I thought there was something going on between you guys.  When I confronted you about it you acted like I was crazy and all along you two were together.”

“I promise you I wanted to tell you.  I wanted to talk to you about it but at first I just wanted to see if I even liked him.  I just didn’t want everyone to find out.  I really do like him and if we get caught we are both going to get in trouble.”  Not only are we not allowed to date co-workers but Gino also has a no boyfriend rule.  He says it gets messy when boyfriends are around watching other guys perving on their girlfriends.  Which is true, either a fight breaks out between the guys or between the couple, both of which never end well.

“So you don’t trust me.  You didn’t trust me not to tell anyone.  That hurts Len.  I love you.  I would do anything for you.  I know I can be flaky but I just want you to be happy and if Mark makes you happy then I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that.”  The waiter came over and Daphne gave him her order.  I just ordered the first thing I saw because I wasn’t hungry.  Guilt always makes me feel full.

“I really am I sorry.  I will buy you a lobster if you would like.”  I twirled my straw in my drink.  “I’ll even try to cook it.”  I looked over at her hoping she would accept my apology.

Daphne looked thoughtful.  “I don’t need your pity lobster.  I have a date tonight.”

“So you and Scott, huh?  Who would’ve thought?”  I was beginning to like the thought of Daphne and Scott.  Hell anything was better than Robbie.

Daphne looked at me shaking her head.  “I’m not going on a date with Scott.  Let’s keep up.  I have a date with the guy in the suit, from the other day.  Saul or Seth I think his name was.”