Darkness Sheds into Light {Watty 2012}

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Ariana was nearing the main rode when a black four door that left her with wet dreams pulled up beside her. Jax lowered the window. “Get in.”

This is rich, she thought. “Are you prone for mental instability? Because this is pretty stupid.”

“Please get in.”

Ariana shrugged her shoulders and thought what the hell, she could hear him out and then be on her way. She thought it’d be easy getting into such a small space with a man she was trying desperately to stop remembering. “What can I do for you?”

Jax put the car in drive and headed down the street. “It’s not even ten hours later since I laid eyes on you again and already I’ve come to learn a few things. You’re relying on sarcasm to get you out of conversations you don’t want to have and when that doesn’t work you get rude. I think you do remember something about the girl you used to be and now you’re going out of your way to be the complete opposite of her.”

She didn’t like how he made her heart clench, his words hit close to home as did the sound of his voice. “Come up with that all on your own?”

“You’re not as empty as you want to come across, you wouldn’t be looking after Kid if you were or trying to convince me to stay away from you for my well being.”

He was good, she bitterly thought. Like he said they weren’t back in each other’s lives a whole day and already he was unraveling the puzzle. She cut him a dry look. “So? You chased me down for this insightful chat? It’s been nice but can you pull over now so I can get on with my day?”  She tried the door handle only to find it was locked and she wasn’t the one who could unlock it. Well wasn’t Mr. Jax Reed a sneaky bastard. “What does your girlfriend think about this little adventure of yours? Ah she doesn’t know. Am I worth ruining your very stable and good relationship over?” she threw out that last question to get under his skin and not really expecting him to answer.

“Yes.”

That shut her right up. They shared a look that let her see down to the depths of his soul. He wasn’t joking; it didn’t look like Jax did a lot of joking about anything. “You’re crazy and if I was her I’d dump your ass for wanting something impossible.”

“And what’s impossible?”

“Us ever getting back together and we’d never work as a couple again either, I’m too different. I don’t know how many ways to tell you this.”

“You keep telling me what I should be doing and why I should be doing it but you haven’t told me once that you wouldn’t want me back.” The radiant smile he flashed sealed the fact he knew he was right.   

“And we’re back where we started and I ask; so? What does it all mean? Nothing, that’s what it means because it doesn’t change that you have a mate you love and chose to make a life with. It doesn’t just magically go away because your damaged previous mate shows up. You’re not an asshole like that.”

“You’ve remembered a lot more than you’ve led on. I know, I know, so? I don’t know what it all means. I do love Christina and I don’t want to hurt her but I can’t just forget you’re here.” The inner battle he was having showed across his face and his hands as he held the steering wheel with a grip tight enough to snap it in two if he wasn’t careful.

“You just need to adapt to the way things are now and you’ll be better off for it in the end. It’s not just my past or lack of memories that makes this all very complicated and impossible. You have your mate and I also have mine.” Try as hard as she tried to avoid it she felt something for Marc, she cared about him. 

“So that’s it? Two years of fearing the worst and coming to accept it to now we’re just done? We’re broken up?” the last several years had been a blur for her but not for him, he remembered every moment of their relationship and now he was going to have to face that it was over.

“We’ve been broken up the minute you accepted Christina as your mate and gave her your heart. It’s how it’s meant to be. I accepted a long time ago you can’t change the way things have to be. It’s your turn now and you can start be letting me out.” She desperately wanted to run from the intensity she felt in her chest brewing from Jax’s presence.

“We were friends once and that’s something I can’t turn away from too. Let me help you. Where are you going?” he had his own desperation in his voice too.

Arian’s heart was working double time, it was hell trying to convince him of something she wasn’t sure of. A lot had happened in the last three days and now her whole world was up in the air for the pieces to be grabbed in the way she chose. She had a choice to make now and while she knew it was better to cut all ties with Jax she understood what he meant about not being able to. “I could use some friends but not with this.” she couldn’t willingly put him in danger.

“I’m not letting you go up against the hunters alone. I lost you to them already and I’ll be damned if it happens again. Either you tell me where you’re going and we go together or I take you back to the cabin.” Jax proved she wasn’t the only one who knew how to be stubborn.

“Then I guess we can go back to the cabin.”

“Cabin it is.” He did a quick U-turn that was very illegal. “How much have you really remembered?”

He wanted to be her friend and since she agreed she might as well talk to the guy. “I remember our first kiss and the night you told me you loved me. I remember being trapped in that cave with Marc. I remember this car.” Her eyes took in the polished interior and how it still looked as it did in her memories.

“What exactly about the car?”

Ariana noted the smile tugging at his lips, a knowing smile of sex. “We’re entering dangerous territory here friend.”

“Sorry.”

“I think being around you and Marc has knocked some stuff loose because I haven’t been able to remember anyone else. I read in a file about my mother and your father. Hal had never told me he was the man that raised me either. I guess he liked the idea of a clean slate and made sure to keep it that way with a regimen of drugs.” She was rambling before she had realized it. “All of that wasn’t necessary, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I want to know what happened and what’s happening. You’re not in this alone anymore.”

“Marc’s trying to convince me the same thing and it’s not working. I get that you care but I don’t need it and I don’t want you to care so much and find death on the other side of it. You want to be friends, buddies that chat and exchange jokes? I’m ok with that but it can’t be more. I can’t have your death on my hands or Marc’s or Christina’s or anyone else’s.” Ariana wasn’t blind to how her words were hurting those she cared about but they were an essential evil. She hoped if she said it enough she’d believe it too.

Jax threw her for a loop again. “What happens when it’s all over? Hal’s dead and the hunters can’t hurt you?”

Ariana confessed weakly. “I haven’t thought that ahead.” She was expecting the worst but it’d be nice if she could survive and see Kid grow up, to find some stability in her very hectic life.

“You should because Marc doesn’t know how to lose and between the two of us no one will ever hurt you again.” It was such a fierce promise she couldn’t think to question it.