Daughter of the Naga | Lesbian Story|

Chapter 69

I awoke to the golden sunlight through the window. My body was cold. My right side was exposed to the morning breeze. The space beside me on the bed was occupied by Kesar. She laid her head in the curve of my neck, still soundly asleep.

I closed my eyes again and let my mind sink back into the trailing thoughts. How strangely Kesar's soft body fit mine and comforted me with her warmth. I inhaled the lovely scent of her skin. It was different from Amarisa's, which was the smell of the sunshine and exquisite flowers. Kesar's scent was sweet wood and the clouds before the rain. I inhaled her again, enjoying the fulfilling fragrance in my lungs.

Kesar sighed and nestled closer. I wished we could hold onto this wonderful circle of our embrace forever. Perhaps, if I had never met Amarisa and been so in love with her, everything would be different.

After a moment passed, I realized the maiden was also awake. Her breathing was no longer at ease and her heart began its worrying pace. Neither one of us felt the need to let go of each other. I stared at the outlines of our entwined bodies beneath the silk cover.

"I am a terrible person, Kesar," I whispered.

"Nikita..." she said my name, but I didn't wait for her further response.

"I am a liar, a two-faced lover," I said. "I'm the most deceitful person that has ever befallen your world. I don't deserve all your kindness and love. Why has the earth not split open and swallowed me yet?"

At that, Kesar lifted her face to look at me. Her eyes filled with tears. She had trouble finding her words to speak, and I wouldn't let her lessen my sorrow anymore.

"I am being terribly unfair to you and even more so to Amarisa," I said again. "We both know what wrong deeds I have done. My selfishness will bind me to sorrow and shame forever. Every time I look at your face and hers, those feelings will torment me, and they will never be gone."

The winged maiden was horrified at the bitterness of my tone. She took my face in her palms and shook her head as if to stop me.

"You're not at fault alone, don't blame yourself," she said.

"No, I have dishonored everyone," I said. "You should hate me."

"No, I can't," Kesar was choking. "I could see the torment that is tearing you apart, yet I am so lustful and selfishly in need of you. Nothing you have done is wrong to me. Please do not berate yourself alone."

"Can't you see that you're suffering because of me?" I said. "How could you be so fond of a person who breaks your heart?"

Kesar shook her head vigorously, dismissing everything I said.

"You are the best thing that has ever graced our lives," she insisted. "And I speak for all of us." Her hands cupped my cheeks and brushed my skin gently with her thumbs. "I won't let you belittle your poor kind heart, my lady. Yes, you have hurt me, yes, you have hurt me worse than any pain in the world could ever inflict upon my being, but you're worth every throb and every sting. You bear everyone no malice. You're merely afraid to lose those you hold dear — and this is how the tangles got started, catching us all in the web we've woven. Yet I accept your flaws and everything that comes with them. If it is so weighty a grief of conscience, then please share the blame with me. "

We looked at one another, and after a while, I placed my cold hands back on either side of her face.

"Then make me forget," I said in desperation. "Make me think no more of this pain even for a moment's lapse, please."

Kesar encompassed me in her arms. She held me so tightly like she was collecting all my shattered pieces and sticking them back together again.

~*~