Maybe i was meant to find you, again. (Danisnotonfire Love Story) *FINISHED*

{The past few chapters have been so short and i am sorry, so this one's a bit longer c: ~Nicolee)

OKAY SO THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY SAD, MADE ME CRY AND MY TWO BEST FRIENDS CRY, MENTIONS SELF HARM AND SUICIDE. SORRY BABIES. <3

CHAPTER 5

‘’Who should i sign this too?’’ Dan said in his accent.
‘’No one.’’ I said, smirking. He looked up at me.
‘’I have to write some name..’’ I showed him my ticket, signed by him last night,
‘’You Came! Phil like your lett- what happened to your face?’’
‘’N-nothing.’’
‘’You know, you’re really mysterious. Something had to happen for you to get all these bruises and that big cut, you can tell me.’’
‘’I can’t tell you, i’m so sorry..’’
‘’I understand, privacy, now go see phil. He’s been peeing himself out of excitement.’’
I smiled, and slid my book down to the other side of the table.
‘’Hello Love, who should i make this too?’’
Lyniz, Lyniz Houth.’’

I had no idea that would happen. I honestly didn’t expect any of that. The crying, the cursing, I definitely didn’t expect the security coming.
[FLASHBACK]
He looked up at me, the same crystal blue eyes i always remembered.
but he didn’t smile. He stood up and grabbed my arm. He brought me to a men’s bathroom.
‘’Phi- i’m not supposed to be here.’’
‘’You’re notLyniz.. ‘’
‘’What are you talking about, Phil. Of course i am.’’
‘’You’re a liar, and i want you to get the fuck out of here. You don’t know how much she means to me. You’re lying just to get close to me, aren’t you? To hurt me like i hurt her when i left? Get out, or i’m calling security.’’
‘’Phil, i am me. I’m Lyniz Quinn Houth, i know you d-’’
‘’Get the fuck out of here, SECURITY.’’’
Two men in black suits came up to me, and grabbed my arms.
‘’’No, get the fuck off of me. I’ll walk out, i don’t want to be here anyway. ‘’

And now, i’m sitting in the old park Phil and i used to sit at. I’m sitting on the swing he used to push me on, before all of this happened. Before  he moved, before my dad abused my mom and i, before my mom killed herself, before i cut, before everyone hated me.
Was i even worth it anymore?
They say when one door closes, another one opens. I’m alive while someone’s mom or dad could be dying in the hospital, i’m alive when a couple could be trying for a baby. I’m alive when i shouldn’t be. And you know what? I’m going to change that.
I’m going to give a child the chance to have their mother, like i couldn’t. I’m going to give a couple the change to raise a child of their own, and raise them right, like i wasn’t. I shouldn’t be alive when others are so much more worthy than me.
I took out a pen and a paper, i was going to write my letter. I only had to write one, no one else cared about me..

Dear Phillip,

wow.. i don’t know why i even wrote this, because apparently, i’m not me.

But i thought you’d like to know, i’m leaving. Forever.. I’m not moving, so don’t try to find me, even thought i know you won’t.

i’m sorry. i’m rambling.

before i leave, i just want you to know you were my best friend. you spent every day with me, and hugged me when i cried. I remember the way you laughed at me when i made jokes, or held my hand when i fell down. I’m sitting the park, under our tree yes, the tree we grew. I actually never thought the tree would grow, but i always remembered seeing the glint of hope in your eyes.. maybe that’s what kept me going. Knowing you always had hope. You had hope my dad would stop beating my mom. . I know you’d never tell anyone.. but sometimes i wish i was smarter than to tell you not to, maybe i wouldn’t be sitting on the swing you always pushed me on when we were younger, writing my suicide note. But we can’t change the past, we can only make the future. Right now, i’m carving my future. I can watch over you, i love you Phil, you were like my brother. I’m sorry i have to leave you this way. I’m going to give this letter to Mayelin, you remember the old hotel owner? She’ll give it to you, Phil, just remember that when ever you’re awake, i’ll be there. Holding your hand like you always did mine.