"I'm glad you agreed to this." He seemed totally clueless to what he had put me through like we were just old friends who ran into eachother and decided to share a nice afternoon together, Well no. Thats's not at all what this was. This is an couple who broke up because he left, an angry hurt girl, a clueless boy, and it wasn't even nice outside! It's stormy!
"Didn't really have much choice. I know you, you would never leave me alone until I agreed!" I exasperated, very frustrated. Very..every emotion you could possibly think of. Except sucidal. I'm definitely not suicidal.
"Maddie, you knew the old me. Just like I knew the old you. I don't know the new you, and you don't know the new me." Suprisingly calm he well calmly replied.
"What makes you think I want to know the new you? You'd just leave again."
"That was the old me. Look, I'm sorry for leaving you like that, I'm sorry for not calling." I could literally hear the sincerity in his voice.
"Look Austin, one apology is not going to cut it. You have no idea how much shit you put me through, and what about you're family? Were you thinking of them? Were you thinking of any of us? No! You were only thinking of yourself!" I raised my voice, since I was not above arguing in public, and especially not in a half empty subway!
"I'm sorry about all of that. Believe me, it tears me up every time I think about it!"
"Austin its not that I don't believe you, Its that one apology is not going to immediately make all of this okay! It does'nt give you back my trust! Or my heart!" I was tearing up a little bit, and I could tell he was too! It hurt us both to think about his mistake!
"This is our stop." He quickly dropped the subject it seems one thing has not changed about Austin he hates arguing and crying in public. "Just tell me this, did you really love me?"
"Why would you even ask that question! I can't belive you! That hurts a lot. Well not as much as you leaving! Jerk." I scoffed and walked even faster, through the crowds out of the grimy subway.
"I was just wondering! I have a right to know."
"You really don't." Rolling my eyes. "But I did."
"And I'm sorry I threw that away. I was scared."
"I forgive you but an apology won't fly."
"Then DAMNIT! What will" We were back to yelling as we crossed the street to Cafe Mnemonic.
"How about an explination? Proof that are whole relationship wasn't a joke to you! Then somehow you can manage to earn back my trust!"
We paused our little spat to be greeted by a spunky litte waitress named Carmen in her mid 20's with blonde hair and a nose stud that I was totally jealous of! "Hey whats up? I'm Carmen and I will be your waitress today. I'll give you a minute to look at the menu." She smiled as she set down the small square menus infront of us and walked away.
"I left because I thought that would be best for us. Young love never ends well."
"So you decided to just burn the bridge earlier and make it end horribly! Obviously that's a load of b.s because you were not thinking at all!"
"Then what were you really thinking? Huh?"
"I was scared! of the commintment!"
"Thats another lie! Holy crap! If you were so scared of commitment you would not have bought me jewlry, taken me on vacations, stayed with me for months! Or had sex with me! If you can't give me something as simple as an explination than we are done here! Call me when you can." I huffed and scribbled my number down on a napkin, before storming out with tears in my eyes into the pouring,cold rain.
I pulled on my hoodie and took out my umbrella before I broke down in tears.Really all I have wanted was an explination, and this whole thing is still an open wound. I do a good job of ignoring it, and I've done well what my mother and friends have said a phenomenal job of getting over him, but after seeing him...it was like getting hit by a bus of old feelings. That feeling of brokenness, and just plain out sad. It "re broke" my heart if you will...
What ever. Maddie you are okay. This is all going to be fine. I'f he's ready he'll call you, if he's not its no big deal. Just take it out on the sculpting. I kept replaying that in my head until I got to school, sneaking through the back just in time to get lost in my work, which was exactly what I needed right now. Got my emotions all out into my work and it showed. When life gave me sad depressed lemons I made beautiful lemonade.
Hello my lovelies! thank you guys for ALL of your support on the story. i love you all :) <3
|Austin Mahone||as himself|
|Alex Constancio||as himself|