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Green Tea, Geisha's and my MOST embarrassing moment.

In high school I was lucky enough to do a summer exchange with a family in Sendai, Japan. Their daughter who was my age came and stayed with my family and I went and stayed with theirs.

Japan is high-tech. I felt like I had traveled into the future, they had vending machines that talked in different languages, Ferris wheels to park dozens of cars in one spot, and all the newest technology you could imagine. But perhaps the most interesting futuristic thing the Japanese had was their toilets. And with their toilets my most embarrassing story begins....

One night the group of exchange students were invited to one of the host homes for a party. The kids were put in the family room with a TV and a karaoke machine. I drank too much tea and had to go to the bathroom, which was just off the room though a paper thin screen door. It was small, closet sized, there were no windows and the only light came through the screen and from the toilet itself--I'd ever seen anything like it, the rim glowed blue, there was a side panel with a bunch of nobs and buttons, all in Japanese, but lucky for me some of them had images.

I lifted the lid and the toilet seat spun, a jet of water washed it and a blast of air dried it preparing it for me. I remember thinking how glad I was that I wasn't desperate to pee because it wasn't a fast process and I'd never been good at holding it in, the last thing I'd want is to pee my pants, I mean how embarrassing would that be.

The moment I took a seat the toilet greeted me in Japanese. My butt cheeks instantly noted the seat was heated. My touchas had never been treated so royally.

I studied the panel as I did my business. There was a button with a music note and I couldn't help my curiosity. The moment I pushed it the local radio station played...through the toilet! I leaned back into the seat, using the armrest, imagining that Captian Kurt must have felt this fancy when flying the Enterprise. (star trek reference-I'm a dork).

It was then that I realized they had no toilet paper. I started to panic. I called for my friends to bring me some. But they were too busy singing karaoke in the room outside the door to hear my calls.

So I was left, toilet paperless, on a toilet fancier than the Captain's seat of the Enterprise, with nothing to use but my wits to get me out. So I did what anyone would. I started pressing random buttons. First the toilet light changed from blue to green, than the radio started randomly searching stations and then, a hard/hot geyser of water shot me right in my lady bits. I screamed and jumped forward...too forward...I tripped over the pants pooled around my ankles and fell face first, through the screen door, landing feet hooked on a broken piece of door and bare bottom up in the middle of the karaoke party.

The room silenced and turned to see me, face down, bum up, pants around the ankles, wood and screen paper flapping in the spray of water still shooting out of the toilet.

One of the Japanese girls screamed, and threw a blanket over me. The kids from my school, who were also on the exchange, laughed so hard they couldn't breathe. Which I'm pretty sure was rude, because for one thing it felt rude and for another, the Japanese girls looked like they didn't know what to do-they certainly weren't laughing.

I offered to pay to fix the door but they wouldn't let me. I was silently grateful for that, could you imagine paying for your most embarrassing moment?

I had to spend two more weeks there, and every time I saw one of the people from that party I couldn't help but notice the pink of their cheeks and that they could barely keep eye contact with me.

But hey, at least I left them with something to talk about, and a most embarrassing (Em-bare-ass-ing) story that will be impossible to beat. What's your most embarrassing story? Share in the comments below.