Battle Scars

Chapter 10

"I'm not perfect but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start."-Perfect, Hedley

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            The panic started to set in during the last five minutes of my trig class. The inevitable moment was coming, I knew it with every tick of the clock. My retake of the test was in a few short moments and though I practically ate, slept, breathed nothing but trigonometry since Saturday with the help of Luke, I still felt completely unprepared. No amount of studying could change the fact that I was terrible at all things math related and couldn’t recall formulas to save my life. It felt useless that I was even getting the chance to redo this test, but Luke had really stuck his neck out to get this opportunity for me. Because of that, I felt obligated to repay him by trying to complete this exam.

            The teacher announced dismissal and my heart lurched in my chest. This was it. This was the moment I had been dreading all weekend. I stared at my desk, trying to will myself not to throw up all over the textured green carpet. My stomach tied itself into knots, my palms sweated. The room suddenly felt too small, too hot, like my claustrophobia had set in. My brain kicked into overdrive as the students piled out the door, forcing my heart rate to spike. My chest constricted around my lungs. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. My brain wasn’t getting enough oxygen to recall anything I had learned.

            A hand landed on my shoulder just as I had decided to forget this stupid test and bail. When I looked up Luke was standing above me, a wide grin stretching his lips out. His dimple sunk deeper into his cheek than it usually did and for some reason that loosened the cage around my lungs.

            “You’ve got this, Remy,” he promised. “You’ve spent too much time studying not to pass.”

            I shook my head and gulped. My voice would barely rise above a whisper when I tried to respond. “Luke… I don’t know if I can do this.”

            He gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t worry, okay? Like I’ve said before, it’s just a pretest. It’s not even that important.” I must have still looked skeptical because he crouched forward to make us eye level and lowered his voice. “Okay, tell ya what. If you get overwhelmed or forget just close your eyes and think of my voice. I spent hours reciting this stuff to you, Remy, thinking of me saying it might help.” His cheeks darkened with a hint of pink when he said this, like suggesting that I should think of him in a time of need embarrassed him.

            I placed my hand over his on my shoulder cautiously and exhaled. “Okay.”

            “Luke?” We looked up to see the professor, Luke’s mother, standing in front of my desk with papers under her arm. Luke’s hand slipped from my shoulder. “You need to leave now, sweetie.”

            “Yes, ma’am.” Luke nodded before turned to me. “Remember what I said. You’ll do great! I’ll be waiting outside, okay?”

            I waved as he hurried out of the classroom, leaving me to accept my doomed fate.

            Mrs. Redford sat the exam on my desk with a smile before returning to the whiteboard at the front of the room. As soon as the paper was placed in front of me I regretted the decision to put myself through this. I couldn’t even comprehend the first problem. All the words seemed to run together. The sentences were made of gibberish, like a foreign language I never got the privilege to learn. There were too many numbers mixed in with letters, it was like the alphabet had vomited all over my math homework.