red grapes, strawberry toaster strudels and banana peppers

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aka chapter fifteen. 

i think i'm starting to get the hang of this somewhat consistant posting.

a weeks wait is fair, don't you think?

so today, i walked the cat, almost got hit by a bike, and took an hour to straighten my hair only to realize i like it better when it's not straight. which, i kind of already knew. 

AHAAHA YOU GUYS DON'T CARE.

read up, beautifuls. i love you all. 

[I FORGOT APPLE JUICE]

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"No fear, Team Rocket is here!" Timmy announces as I carry him in through the door. It seems the whole house goes into shock from the amount of noise coming from my general direction.

"Damian?" Teddy calls down the hall. "Why do you sound like even more of a faggot than usual?"

His question is followed by a smacking sound. "Don't use that kind of language in my house."

"Sorry, mom. But no way in hell is that Damian."

"It's his new friend, Timmy."

I deposit my prince into the kitchen doorway. His feet tap the ground with perfect sound.

Dammit, he's still wearing the Suicide Silence jacket.

He's obviously forgotten, or over the first impression stage where he still cares.

"Hello!" Timmy greets my brother with a smile. "I'm Timmy McKinnon."

"And you were hanging out with him, why? It's not like he can be any fun, not talking or nothing."

"Anything, dear. The proper word is anything."

"Whatever, mom."

"I love Damian!" Timmy assures. "He's loads of fun. Like, he carried me the entire way here. And almost got hit by some old lady trying to cross the street illegally."

Great, tell them all about me breaking the law. As if they didn't already have a shitty image of me in the first place.

"Will you be joining us for dinner, Timmy? We're having grilled cheese."

I so called it.

"Yum! That sounds wonderful, Mrs. Owens."

"Please, call me Sally. Teddy, set out an extra plate."

"Make the queer do it, it's his friend."

She shakes the wooden spoon I'm pretty sure nobody has any idea why she's holding at him. "I'm warning you. Don't let me hear that language from you again."

"Whatever."

Timmy hits it off pretty well with my father too, smiling and shaking his hand with enthusiasm.

"Do things with passion or not at all," I hear Justin whisper in my ear.

What a beautiful kid.

"Why don't you sit here tonight," my mother sets his place at the edge of the table. "You can sit next to Damian."

"So, little brother. Is this your new boyfriend?" Teddy teases.

I choke on my water and end up spitting it into my lap.

"N-no!" Timmy responds immediately. "We're just friends."

He wants it to be something more.

"Friends with benefits?"

"Teddy..."

"We're just friends," Timmy states clearly, "just friends."

That bastard. Assuming the first friend I make after becoming single is automatically my fuck buddy. That sick bastard.

Justin isn't that easy to replace. He can't just be replaced.


"Ignore them," he told me with a grin and wrapped his arm over my shoulders.

"Faggots," some kid spat.

"Queers!"

"Fairies!"

My brother looked like he was going to be sick.

Tolerance and approval were tearing him apart. It was interesting to see which one he would choose.

"And proud!" Justin called back at them. "Ain't that right, baby?"

I nodded shyly, hiding behind thick bangs.

Teddy still hadn't said anything.

"Emo boy likes sucking cock," another one threw out, and the whole group erupted into laughter as if it was the best joke they'd ever heard.

Emo boy was me. Faggot or queer or fairy could have been thrown at either one of us, but emo boy was especially for me.

"It's my favorite. However did you guess?"

Justin grinned. So much for just ignoring them. We were having too much fun for that.

"That's sick, man. Do you gotta listen to that all night, huh Teddy? How's it having a fag for a brother?"

At that moment, our eyes locked. This was the deciding moment in our relationship: the now or never.

He had to pick between what was wrong and what was right.

"Just leave them alone," he finally said. "They aren't hurting anyone."


Thanks, bro.

I'm not sure where that brother went. He's not the boy sitting across the table from me anymore.

"Piss off," I hiss. The whole family's eyes are on me, hearing my first words in months. "Come on, Timmy. We're going to my room. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll get to hear us fucking."

My parents are too stunned to punish me for the vulgarity.

"Um...alright. Well, nice to meet you all!" Timmy awkwardly bows out and follows me up the stairs to the safety of my room.

"That was a little harsh, don't you think?" He sits down on the edge of the bed after me.

"They deserve it, that bunch of homophobes. They all pretend they're okay with it, but does anybody make any move to stop him? No. It's fucking disgusting."

"Babe."  His arm rests on mine. My skin is burning under his touch. I'm still only wearing short sleeves, the scars all screaming for attention. "Relax."

My breath stops for the sixty-ninth time today.

"Are you okay, Damian?" Timmy slides closer to me. I'm sandwiched between him and Oliver Sykes, looking stoned as always.

I nod, because it's the least I can do.

"Are you really?"

"I honestly can't breathe," I tell him.

"Is it because of me?"

"Yeah."

"Am I too close?"

He teases and pushes even harder. He's practically on top of me by now.

"It just seems so fast."

My heart feels like it's going to beat right out my chest.

"Kiss him," Justin orders. "Kiss him like you mean it."

I grab the collar of that white sweatshirt and pull. I kiss Timmy as hard as I fucking can.

"I love you," I mumble onto his lips, but it doesn't come out as anything but a vibration. "I fucking love you."

And I could have sworn he returned my verbal affection.

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