6. while in Florida

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Walking aimlessly, I headed away from college. Our apartment lay in the opposite direction, but I was had no intention of going there. I couldn't be sure whether or not he would still at home.

According to his instructions, I should have stayed on campus to pick up his assignments, but sitting in those stifling classrooms with only my thoughts for company wouldn't work. Fleeing from my problems was a stupid fucking idea as well, but it was the only solution I could think of.

I ended up on the main street. It was bustling with people going about their lives as if nothing had happened. Like the world wasn't completely different. They didn't have a clue. Life changed. Everything changed. One small detail, and years of my life no longer made sense. I thought I knew Ayden, but clearly, I didn't.

I walked on for another few minutes before my phone buzzed in my pocket.

Jessica

I didn't want to talk to her, afraid that I would say something stupid. I closed the call and hoped she would take the hint. She called a second time, and a third. After the fourth time I considered shutting it off.

The phone was silent for a while, but when it rang again I answered—pissed that she wouldn't leave me alone.

"I need some space, Jessica."

"Whoa, what's up?" Ayden. Did this shit never end?

"Sorry, man," I apologized.

"It's okay, but why are you so mad at Jessica?"

"I'm not."

"Clearly..."

I decided to side-step the issue. "When are you off to Florida?"

"I'm at the airport."

"So why are you calling?"

Ayden took a few seconds to answer, and I grew nervous—no longer sure if I wanted to know.

"You didn't reply to my message," he said, but I could tell that it wasn't what he wanted to say. At any other time, I would have said, out with it, Ay, but this time I decided against it. I would let him keep his thoughts to himself.

"I'll pick up your stuff, don't worry."

"Cool, see you next week."

"Yeah, have fun." The words tasted vile in my mouth. Have fun, yeah right. The mental image of him and the young guy flashed before me again, but I forced it away.

"Yeah... bye, Cal." His voice sounded odd. For a second, I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I stopped myself. I didn't want to know. I didn't want him to talk about his job. It was awkward enough as it was.

* * * *

The rest of the day went by in a blur. I spent my time playing stupid games on my phone on different park benches. I didn't want to meet anyone, and for the longest time, I refused to go home. When my stomach started to protest, I finally resigned and made my way back to the apartment. Ayden wouldn't be there, anyway.

I should have called Jessica, but I felt awkward about meeting her when I wasn't sure of what the hell was going on with me.

It was late, the street lights were flickering alight, and the crowd shifted from mothers with their strollers to people on their way to restaurants and bars. It made me even hungrier, and started an ache for some alcohol to drown the thoughts that were still battering my exhausted mind.

I stopped in the doorway of the apartment, staring inside. It looked completely different. Ayden had cleaned the entire place. No trash, no strewn clothes, no dust in the corners. Even the tables were wiped, cleared of all circular marks from beer bottles that usually covered every available surface.

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