Wait and Bleed
This is a one-shot story based off the song Wait and Bleed by Slipknot. Song in the side as well as a pic of Blue and Haze.
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Desperate to drowned out my history teachers dreadful voice I pushed in my left earbud to accompany the right.
I laid my head on my desk staring at the person to my right's feet. When I saw those silver sparkling Toms get up and leave I would know the bell had rang.
Why I still even went to school was a mystery to everyone, including myself. I never answered any questions and when I was asked I would just stare at the teacher with a dead blank expression. The students passed papers around me knowing I wouldn't do the work even if I was handed it. I had at least one headphone in all day, most the time both. I had zero's in all my classes. And the staff had just totally given up on talking me into working. I had been expelled so many times for not doing my work, I quit keeping track a few months ago.
The only way I was getting credits was because of my foster mom, she was home schooling me all of the required classes. Yet she still made me go to school for the social aspect. Which, by choice, I wasn't getting much of.
One major thing that set me aside and made me different from everyone else was; I haven't said one word for the past five years.
My two loving parents were shot right in front of me when I was ten years old. The second their blood was splattered on my shoes, I quit talking. I just never could find the will to.
I was put in foster care after a few years of being shipped from family member to family member, no one had ever had the patience to deal with me.
When the bell finally rang I stood up and walked to my next class, socializing with no one, never cracking a smile or anything. But today was different. I was glancing at the floor when I ran right into a the girl from history, with the silver Toms.
"I'm so sorry." she apologized.
All I did was nod and keep walking.
"Hey! Aren't you gonna say sorry too?" She asked running after me.
I shook my head and kept my eyes locked on the floor. "Are you okay?" She said asking another question.
I took a deep breath and continued walking.
"My name is Blue." She said cocking her head to side trying to get a better look at me. "Why don't you talk?"
I looked up at her still with my legendary blank expression and then looked back at the floor. As if I was going to answer her question? Why don't you talk? Oh I don't know, I mean first off. I. Don't. Talk. It's pretty self explanatory, don't ya think?
I managed to pass through the rest of the day without any other disturbances... But that was all about to change.
"Hey!" I heard a girl calling out from behind me.
Assuming they were yelling for someone else I just kept walking. "Hey! Wait up!" There it was again. Maybe they really were talking to me...?
I kept walking but I slowed my pace a little so they would have a better chance of catching up, just curious as to who would actually want to talk to me.
By the time this mystery person caught up to me I could clearly see it was that one Blue girl from the hall earlier. "Hey, I was calling for you. Why didn't you stop?" She asked trying to catch her breath.
Damn, this girl asked a lot of questions.
"Oh my god you like really don't talk do you?"
I shook my head and glanced up at her. She was beautiful, she had long, curly, brown, scene styled hair, stunning deep brown eyes that were engulfed in a think layer of eyeliner. Her lightly tanned olive skin was flawless and her smile was breathtaking. She was the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.
"Hmmm... would you... write down your answers in my notebook?" She beamed quickly swinging the left shoulder of her backpack off and unzipping it rapidly.
She handed me her purple and black stripped notebook and a back Paper-mate pen.
"Here, what's your name?"
I took the notebook and flipped it open to a clean page and scribbled out my name.
"Haze. That's an interesting name." She smiled.
I took the notebook back and wrote the meaning of my name.
'It was my grandma's name, Hazel. She died the night I was born. In a car accident... on her way to see me. So my parents knocked off the "el" part and named me Haze.'
"That's so sweet." Blue cooed. "Can I ask you why you don't talk?"
taking back the notebook I began thinking to myself: Should I tell her the real reason? This girl gave me not one reason not to trust her... so why not?
'My parents... they were murdered in my bedroom right in front of me when I was ten... I just... haven't talked since. My parents are forever silence... so am I.'
Her jaw dropped at my words- well, my more or less print.
"Haze... I'm so sorry, I can only imagine how hard that must have been."
Eye's still locked on the concrete beneath my feet I nodded.
Blue and I "Talked" through this notebook for the next few days. I knew everything there was to know about her, as she did about me.
There was something about this girl. She was different. She didn't get impatient with my silence. She tried her hardest to relate to my situations and she was the only one that put forth effort to actually talk to me. She wasn't scared of me and she didn't judge me on my decision to be on mute.
One day she fallowed me home. Needless to say my foster mom; Michelle was shocked to see another human being walk through the door with me. She talked with Blue for hours about me, and then after Blue left she talked with me for hours about how excited she was that I was actually socializing... in my own non-social way.
Blue and I grew closer and closer over the months. One night she decided to stay the night so I could help her with a science project. And there was something about that night, that was just so perfect. She was just perfect. I leaned in slowly turing my head slightly to the right and brushed my lips to hers. I knew nothing about kissing a girl but I felt like I was doing this right, her hands wrapped around me and she pulled me closer. "I love you." She whispered into my ear.
I smiled one of my very rare smiles and laughed slightly with the nerves. That was the first laugh I had let out in almost eleven years, it was the first thing Blue had ever heard come out of my mouth as well.
That night one thing lead to another and I ended up giving Blue my virginity. She was perfect, she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She got me... for me.
She pulled my voice out of me and got me talking again. It wasn't very much but it was still a step in the right direction.
Her and I would sit behind the gym at lunch and listen to Mayday Parade while tossing Skittles into each others mouths. I was in love. For the first time in my life I felt complete... and normal. Like someone wanted to be around me. I didn't feel like such an outcast. I didn't feel like I was worthless, or alone. She was bring out those lost feelings of happiness and worth buried deep inside me.
What I have been looking for.
But of corse... All good things must come to an end. And that's exactly what they did.
My perfect Blue world came to a screaming halt when her dad was transferred to Maryland for work.
Without Blue, I had no purpose in this life.
I crawled back into my shell of hiding and started cutting. It was my only way to get rid of the pain that was burning inside me.
I dropped completely out of school and pretty much gave up on life.
Went back on mute and practically died inside.
Blue was my life.
My air and my water.
You can't live without water and air.
I can't live without Blue.
Now all I can do is hold my love, hoping she'll come back and bring me back to life.
And here it is. As it waits for you.. to bleed.
