An Irresistible Mate

(A/N: Not edited!)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Emalie's P.O.V

I waited over an hour for him, and by the time he came out carrying two cups, I was a nervous wreck. How had I already managed to ruin something so amazing and beautiful in an hour? How come I could never do the right thing, never say the right thing? Somehow, I always ended messing things up, because for god sakes, we'd only been dating a few days, and he was already pissed at me. The romantic, erratic mood that had blanketed us was destroyed.  

Ryan was right. All those times he'd said I was a failure, he was right. I was.  

He climbed into the car without a word. He'd left the keys in, therefore keeping it running and now he shifted the car into gear and peeled out of the parking lot. One hand stiffly passed me one of the drinks, and I took it with trembling hands. Upon looking into it I found it was my favorite. I felt my heart clench even more.  

Unidentifiable emotions coursed through Jasper, so twisted and confused I couldn't pick one from the other. His thoughts were racing behind the wall he'd put up to protect them, and I couldn't catch even one of them. Even if the wall had been thinner, they were going by to fast.  

I couldn't stand the silence between us. Tears pooled in my eyes again as I opened my mouth to speak. "Jasper, I'm--"  

"No." Jasper gritted his teeth, his hands tightening on the wheel. He glanced at me, and I saw remorse and regret on his face. "Please don't apologize, Emalie. You did nothing wrong. I'm the one who... who..." he shook his head, disgusted.  

"No, I did," I whispered. "This is my fault. I shouldn't be keeping things from you like this. You do deserve the truth, and the longer I keep it from you, the more I'm hurting you. I'm so sorry."  

Jasper shook his head. "I'm not saying it isn't painful for me, not knowing, but I shouldn't be trying to force it out of you, either. I should know better, because I know how much it hurts you, every time the topic comes up. I feel how depressed you get." He sighed. "It just makes me crazy every time I know you're hurting while also knowing there's nothing I can do about it... and sometimes I do stupid things because of it. But somehow that stupidity managed to get directed at you, and I didn't think before I speak. I let my tongue get the best of me... again."  

"You had every right to say it though," I told him quietly.  

"No matter how justified it might have been, it was still harsh. Geez, I'm sorry Em. I don't know what got into me. I didn't want us to fight," he whispered.  

I bit my lip for a moment, trying to think of what to do to make him feel better. I felt how anguished he was feeling inside. I reached out with a hesitant hand and put it on his shoulder. He flinched slightly, but then leaned into my grip. 

"It's okay, I forgive you. Let's just forget it happened, okay?" I asked.  

He glanced from the road to me, and then nodded, relaxing. "Fair enough."  

I wasn't sure where he was driving us until the apartment complex loomed into view. He parked the car and then helped me out, and the two of us went up. Ten minutes later, we were sprawled out on my bed, his head in my lap and my fingers pulling absently through his thick locks. I was having an internal battle in my head, trying to figure something out, while Jasper tried to figure me out.  

His eyes were looking up at my face, and he was frowning. I knew he was hearing part of what was going on inside me. "What are you thinking about?" he wanted to know, his brow crinkling as he reached up to touch my cheek.  

I shook my head, leaning back against my pillows. I had changed into a dark turtleneck sweater to hide my mark, just to be safe, and a pair of sweats. I had pulled my hair back and I shivered where he stroked the bare skin of my cheek. "Nothing," I told him.  

His eyes flashed. "How many times do I have to tell you, I know when you're lying." He paused, and then pleaded, "please tell me."  

I locked gazes with him and then made up my mind. "Fine. I decided I'm going to tell you everything," I said quietly. "I'm sick of keeping secrets from you, I don't want to be that type of girlfriend, and all its doing is driving a rift between us. You deserve to know."