Shattered (Continuation of: The Chase) ▹ Ashton Irwin

Chapter Thirty Seven

AN: ANOTHER FILLER UGGGHHHH I'M SORRY

I'm trying not to rush into all the drama that's going to occur soon. huehueheue >:)

But it's okay bc Michael is queen.

And some important things are said in this, that are going to lead to other things so yay :D

thanks for reading! remember to smile, you deserve to :) -ellena

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I was suddenly in a panic. The small feelings of relief that I was able to recieve for a short time were starting to fade. Slowly, painfully, they were draining from my system, and I felt empty. I felt like an abandoned desert; a barren wasteland. Once again, I felt absolutely empty, and I felt nothing. I felt as if I was crazy, because I messed up again. I didn't know where I was driving to, but I just wanted to get as far away from that house as possible. I had finally convinced myself to do it, to say it, but of course it's at the very worst time. Not only did this rip my heart out, it smashed it to the ground and shredded it to pieces.

I was gutted; why did I have to choose the worse time to get myself to stop cowarding out? Why did he have to answer the door, not Brooke? Why was Brooke never there? Why this, why that...

"WHY ANYTHING!" I shouted, slamming to a stop at a red light. I didn't mean to be breathing so heavily and sweating so much, but I couldn't help it. I felt those stupid tears start to brim my eyes, but I forced myself to suck them back. Even though this was saddening me by the minute, I didn't want to show it. There was no one with me, but I didn't care; I didn't want to show the weakness to myself.

Now where do I go? I could just go home, I guess. There's no point in going anywhere else. I don't know where Brooke is; I never have any idea anymore. It seems like that, doesn't it? I see her at school, she comes over maybe like, once a week...I gave up on letting her tutor me, even though I'm starting to need it again...and that's the end of it. What has she been up to lately? I would love to know, since I seem to be so curious about it. I know who she's probably with, and I can't stop that. If I was to ask her if she could stop hanging out with Leila and everyone else, she would get mad at me.

So, without really thinking, I held back my tears and let my hands just steer the steering wheel until I was pulling into a familiar neighbourhood. I didn't know what to feel, except being let down. I also didn't want to be alone, because in reality, I never like being alone.

I scrambled out of my car and practically sprinted up the steps to Michael's front porch, not caring to let those ridiculous tears stream down my face. I shoved the front door open, and dashed down the little hall to get to his room, starting to pant like a dog. I was gonna break down any second, as I could feel it bubbling to the surface of my sanity. I heard Michael's mum call out my name, but I didn't bother to say anything back. I got to Michael's bedroom door and shoved that open as well. It flew open, hit the wall beside it, and I saw both Michael and Luke look over to me with startled looks on their faces. But before either of them could say anything, I spoke up first.

"I'm so done!" I shouted, cried. I slammed the door behind me, walked straight in, burrying my face in a pillow once I made it to Michael's bed. And just like I had thought, I broke down again. My tears carried all my frustration, annoyance, and sadness. I cried as hard as I could, for I thought that it would get rid of all the feelings that were flooding inside of me. I could feel Michael and Luke's eyes on me, and I could only imagine how pathetic I look to them.

"I'm so dumb!" I yelled, even though my voice was muffled.

"Ashton," Luke's voice said from behind me.