It makes me feel..powerful. powerless. beautiful. ugly. sane. insane. lost. found. wanted. unwanted. strong. weak.
The simple swish of the knife or razor against my pure, clean skin. The high before it that's unlike any other drug. The low after it that could literally kill.
The blood that comes after the first cut it almost worth it.
But then you remember what drove you to do it in the first place..And how one cut simply could not accurately portray how you are feeling, so you cut again.
Until your wrist is red and numb. Until your eyes are blood-shot from crying so hard. Until you're dizzy enough to pass out,
and you do.
But this time, you can't take it back.
This time, you won't wake back up.
But it was all worth it though, right ?