One Shot - Alone

ALONE

“Alam mo Tin, ang laki ng pinagbago mo.”

This isn’t the first time someone told me these words. Ilang beses ko na ‘tong naririnig mula sa iba’t ibang tao, sa iba’t ibang kaibigan ko.

“Hindi ka naman dating ganyan, anong nangyari sayo?” Tanong na kaibigan ko.

“Hindi ka ba nainform? Change is constant.” Natatawa ko na lang na sagot. I’m tired of answering their questions when in fact they really know what happened. Pati, what if I changed?

“But.. we miss you.” I stopped what I’m doing and stared at her, “We miss you being loud, your laughter and everything you were before. Kelan ka ba babalik?”

“Ano ba kayo, masanay na kayo sa ganito.” I answered.

**

Kasalanan mo ‘to eh. If you didn’t leave me, siguro I wouldn’t be like this. I became worse when you left when I’m already that bad when you’re here. I don’t know why I’m becoming different, maybe because I hate who I used to be.

**

“Tin, seriously. Give yourself a break, kaya naman namin dito sa org eh.” Officer ako dito sa org at may upcoming event kami kaya ganun na lang ka-busy ngayon. At shempre, I like this better. Buing busy with all school stuff and org works.

“I don’t need a break, okay? Tumutulong na nga ko, ayaw niyo pa ba?” I asked, laughing.

“Hindi ganon, sobra mo na kayang pinapagod sarili mo. We understand you have personal issues, pero Tin, we’re concerned about your  health.” She’s right. Halos ilang oras na nga lang lagi tulog ko eh. Tapos minsan I skip meals pa.

**

Masaya ka ba? Masaya ka ba ngayong miserable ako? Is this what you want? God I have so many questions I don’t know when I’ll run out of things to ask you. Why? Just.. why?

**

I walked along the campus, since pinaalis na nga nila ko sa orgroom. Better make use of the time to relax. I just roamed around, accidentally saw you with your friends.

“Ano, kelan ka ba sasagutin ng bago mong chix?” Tanong ni KC sayo.

“Di ko alam.” Sagot mo lang, wow ha.

“Seryoso ka ba jan, pre?” Tanong ng isa mo pang kaibigan.

“Ewan ko nga eh.” Ang labo.