I wish this was not a story of love.
Secrets lurk around us everyday and the fortunate ones of us are oblivious to them. But I, as I float around my now haunted castle, I wander to myself; why I be so unfortunate as to have lead a life full of secrets. Yet my dreaded husband is a fortunate one. Never knew. A minute part of me now wishes he knew, so that he would perhaps feel a slither of guilt for what he did to me. 'He even have the dignity to do the dirty work himself' I think to myself as a smirk appears unto my face. I find it humorous of that, my husband acted out of jealousy. The strongest enforcement of love. For nothing else can show how much you love a person than when you cannot stand the sight or thought of them being with another human being. You want them all to yourself. And cannot bear to share them.
Jealousy is one of the hardest obstacles to overcome when in love. You must pretend you do not care that the person you love is with this other person. You must pretend that everything is alright and that you do not feel the need to rip the one you love away from the other hated being. You cannot say or do anything about your feelings of jealousy because it would corrupt the relationship you have put so much effort into already. You just have to sit there. Accept the fact that your loved one is being with someone else, and trust them. Trust them enough to know that they will not do anything to ruin your relationship. Even though trust is by far the hardest thing to give away to someone.
I did not trust the Duke. And he made it obvious that he did not trust me. I want to say that I do not care that the Duke didn't trust me. But that would be a lie. It still hurts. I could pretend I did not care, and it would just be another secret I kept from my despised Duke- Preston.
Just the thought of his name felt like a sharp sword was piercing through my stomach. Cheyenne and Preston. No. Preston and Cheyenne. Of course the male must dominate. As he did with my life.
No one knew my secrets. Except my mistress. She would always tell me she preferred the name 'Maid' but I thought mistress had a better ring to it. If only she knew her last words to me were telling me to meet the Duke. She would never have uttered them. She had a hidden admiration for me. I could tell. The way her words were only those of kindness. Never of fear, hatred, anger, sympathy, or worry. With such a kind heart I feel the need to ensure her I am well. But how...
Even a pleasant friend, such as herself, would never come to terms of me haunting my husband's castle. Haunting. That word displeases me. Such a cruel word, yet I only do it with a caring intention. I cannot bring myself to float around a different location. This castle has so much charisma, and not enough charismatic persona's inside. Preston is by far the most intriguing person I have ever laid on eyes, and forever will.
I follow Preston around everywhere, unseen, unheard, unnoticed. I hope he feels my presence. I want to be cared for, wondered about, questioned.
"Preston!" I scream. But as soon as the words left my pale lips they were captured by the unforgiving air that lingered around me. Vile air. Keeping me from my Duke.
My Duke. He was all mine, as I were his. Except I wasn't anymore. He released me from his tight grip. Into the other, new world which awaited me. I am happier here. I view Preston every day, every hour, every minute, every second. In the hope that one day, he return the favour by looking back in my direction. He will not realise he is looking at me, but he will be. And when he does. I will be truly be pleased.
You may think it odd how I now feel so in love with Preston. Truth be it. I never stopped loving him. I took what I had for granted and sought attention from others. Receiving pain from myself to try and surpass reality. But eventually reality catches up. You cannot escape it forever. That was my fault. I thought I could.
Little did I realize that my life was going to end that day. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew my life would come to an end soon, but I guess I was too distracted with pain to realize just how soon, soon was. There is only one thing i regret; not telling Preston how much I loved him. Because if you do not keep reminding someone just how much you love them, then they'll never know. And you will regret it. I know I do.
"I love you Preston" I whisper sweetly as I watch him sleep. His face looks so peaceful and beautiful as he sleeps. If I had a way of showing my emotions physically, I would be crying softly right now. But to no avail could I. Being a ghost has its ups and downs, mainly downs. I edged closer towards Preston acknowledging the delicate architecture of his grand chamber. I reached out my hand to gently stroke his soft, clear cheek. He stirs slightly from my touch, repositioning himself and falling back into his deep sleep. Sadness overwhelms me and I swiftly move back to where i was previously to admire him from afar again. Remembering all of the pleasant times we had together brought a sad smile to my face.
I let myself get the better of me. I let it all slip away without a second look back. And now I missed it more than ever. The laughing, the happiness, the meals, the romantic evenings, the pleasant nights, the sleeps we shared, the affection towards each other.