Sacrificial Love

The reception was going really well. Most of the guests were having such a good time and so were Lucas and Lydia. Mom and Dad were in deep discussion with their old friends, my siblings were scattered everywhere but I stood alone on the balcony, looking out to the sea. It’s a good thing Charles is sitting with his work colleagues.

I sigh; tears wells up in my eyes and starts to fall down my cheeks. Earlier this morning at the wedding ceremony, Charles had come up to me first and told me he has to leave due to his work schedule overseas. That wasn’t all. He also told me how he had been lying to himself about the on-going relationship he has with me, he doesn’t know where it’s going and is not sure where the relationship is going so he told me as gentle as possible that it’d be better if we go our separate ways for a while. He left me shocked and hurt; now I’m crying not because of what he said but about how I can fall for Charles and try to shove out my real feelings for James. Before, I thought I just had to move on but now, I guess I will wait for James after all.

“Don’t cry,” a voice softly says. I wipe my tears away quickly and turn around. I gasped in surprise and almost lost my balance. James stood there in a silver blouse with black dress pants and black tie. He walks forward until his body and face is inches away from mine. “You really shouldn’t be crying at your brother’s wedding.”

A huge smile spread across my face. I fling my arms around James and his arms reach for my waist. Soon we were tied in a tight hug. “I miss you so much …”

Tears were running down my cheeks again this time unstoppable. After a couple of minutes I pull away from James to look at him. He looked relieved. He pulled me close to him and kisses me full on the mouth. I kiss him back, soft but also intense. I finally got my first kiss with the right guy. When we’re done, James held my hand and we walk back together to where the crowd was having fun.

“Where have you been all this time?” I ask curiously.

“Work and some personal things I need to handle with that I can’t tell you,” James replied, smiling at me. “Don’t worry. I didn’t get myself into trouble, more like I was sorting it out. But from what I hear, you are trouble …”

I blushed. Maybe if he hears what I’ve done while he was gone, he would be upset.

“I heard you and Charles had quite a romance while I was gone,” James continues, his right eyebrow raised up. Suddenly I feel as if the blood in my head stopped circulating. “But that’s beside the point now. At the moment I need to talk to you about us. Do you think we can start all over?”

His eyes pierced deep into mine and I feel as if I’m getting burned just staring back right up at it. I drop down my gaze to the floor and then to the crowd behind him. People were having fun dancing to an upbeat song on the dance floor. I reflect back all the times James and I first met and how we have gotten close until the time he left without a word and left me empty without a soul. A part of me wanted so bad to start over with him but another part of me just seem to hesitate at the chance. What if he leaves me again just as he did a couple of months ago? What if all of this is just a dream and he’s not even really here? How do I know for sure that this time our relationship is for real?

I bring myself to look at James and give him a little smile as a slow song is being played by the DJ. I grab his hand and led him onto the dance floor, blending in among all the other couples who are slow dancing. I put my arms around his neck as he wraps his arms around my waist. Slowly I place my left cheek to his right cheek and I close my eyes, feeling each precious moment that I’m having right now.

“I miss you so much. Through these last couple of months you have no idea how lonely I was even when Charles was around. It was like a part of me could never be found because you weren’t there with me,” I said into his ear. “Just when I thought I should forget you and try to love Charles sincerely, you came back so suddenly asking me if we could start all over. Don’t you think it’s not fair? How could I continue to trust you if in the end you’ll leave me so suddenly again?”

Without a word James just pulled me closer to him to hug me tight. He kissed my hair and let his lips stay there as we danced. Until the song ended we still stayed there dancing until the next slow song was played.