The End of Summer

Chapter 45- 'Summer's officially over.'

 A/N: This is it guys. No sequels and no more chapters, this is the end of this story. I would like to say a huge thank you to every single one of you who read and commented on this book, you guys have been beautiful and supportive and it has been a pleasure writing about these characters for you amazing, awesome people!

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Adjusting to life after murder is an experience pretty surreal.

I mean, a part of me was relieved. I was kind of proud because I was the one who ended that crazy bitch's reign of terror. Another part of me however wondered how I was ever going to go back to normal knowing I had blood on my hands. Even if it was the blood of a person who deserved to die, it was still blood.

I think in a way, and I don't say this to sound arrogant, I could relate to Alex more than anyone else could. Obviously I had not been through even a quarter of the crap that he had to battle, but I knew how he felt. I knew why he felt guilty for what he did to Roger. Not even because he took his life, but because he felt happy that he had watched someone die. In a really messed up way, you feel guilty for not feeling guilty. You start to question what that says about you as a person, and you start to wonder if you would ever be the same person.

That night that Alex watched Roger die, I strongly believe that was the end of him. His end wasn't the abuse he suffered; it was that night because he knew he would never forgive himself.

I related to that, but in a very different way. Alex was already way too past damaged to fix, and what happened with Roger's death just added to the chaos that was his life.

The life that was too beyond screwed up to repair.

I could forgive myself for what I had done. I don't know if it was because we were just two different characters, or because I was more mentally stable than Alex was at the time, but I knew that forgiving myself wouldn't be a problem.

However, I could relate because that night that I killed Miss Vines, it was the end of me.

Unlike Alex however, it wasn't unrepairable. Alex wasn't strong enough to build himself back up after it, but I do believe that I was. The night I killed her, the person I used to be was no longer there.

I became someone different, not necessarily for the better but in my opinion not for the worst either.

I think the reason that I was able to move on from it was because unlike Alex, I had the support of everyone around me. Alex had it; he just never told anyone the reason why he needed the support. No one could give him the kind of support he needed when he didn't tell anyone why he needed it.

Unlike when we got taken from the school, the night Miss Vines died was clear as day.

I remember everything, from my father ringing the police to my mother taking me into the bathroom and washing the blood off of my face as I stared ahead of me like a zombie. I remember Archie standing by the bathroom door in a black T-shirt and his boxers, watching as my mother washed away every last drop of red from me.

In a way, I felt bare in that moment to Archie. He stood there with concerned eyes, watching intently as my mother washed away all my sins.

Jesus Christ, apparently I was now religious. I can understand why guys in prison suddenly find Jesus.

I remember the sirens as the police turned up. I remember one of the police officers sitting me down and asking me question after question about what happened. I also remember Archie telling one of them to back off and ask me later considering I could barely speak. I remember a black body bag getting carried away though my living room and I remember how I couldn't take my eyes off of it the entire time.