When Love Gets Complicated [ A One Direction fanfiction <3 ]

Chapter 63 - "I'll Never Let You Go..."

Chapter 63 

She was gone. Her bubbly and cheerful presence was no longer around to guide Zayn and Rachel’s relationship. She had slipped away peacefully, out of their lives forever.

 A week had elapsed since Stephanie's death, but if felt as if she had only died yesterday. It hadn’t gotten easier with each day. Tears hadn’t dried yet and no one’s heart had mended – especially not Zayn’s. No one had seen or heard from him the entire week. Stephanie had placed a lot of pressure on both Zayn and Rachel and her very last request was still being questioned. Would they be able to fulfill that promise? How could they say no to a question asked by someone who was on their deathbed? All Rachel knew was that right now Zayn should be left to recover from losing Stephanie.

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"Zayn? Zayn? Earth to Zayn?" Liam waved his hand back and forth in front of Zayn's face, who was in the midst of a staring competition with the wall. He was off in his head, recounting his last moments with Stephanie; his ears tinged with her final words. It wasn’t usual for a tough guy like Zayn to cry, but Steph had broken his composure. Why did she have to die?

Why did the only girl who truly loved him and treated him right – just the way he treated Rachel – have to die? He could’ve spent time with Stephanie during her last few days, rather than spending time with a girl who had rejected him one too many times.

He spent all his time over a girl who didn't love him back and was falling for this whole other guy, while the girl he loved was soon to die. If he could only turn back time....

"Look Zayn, you can't torture yourself over this. You need to start going out, and hanging out with us or something to get your mind off of this. We are all horribly sad by the death of Steph but you can't keep doing this to yourself. Why are you making it look like all of this is your fault!?" Louis demanded while flipping open the tab on a can of pop.

"BECAUSE IT IS MY FAULT!" Zayn shouted back startling both Liam and Louis.

"This whole entire thing is my fault. Who else is to blame? She was in love with me, and I never paid any attention to her. I feel so guilty on the inside you guys just have no idea. She died knowing that I was in love with someone else. Do you guys even know that her dying wish was for me and Rachel to be together? Probably because she thought she was a cockblocking the two of us. She's the only girl who ever loved me for me, who actually loved me BACK. This is all my fault."

Zayn sat down on the couch beside him.

"Zayn. Stop saying that. This is no one's fault. She had cancer. It's not your fault for falling in love. Love isn't something you can control. I'm always telling you this but I'm going to tell you it again, now. You love Rachel with all your heart! You’ll never love someone else like you’ve loved her, even if you decide on moving on. It just won't happen. Stephanie was the girl you loved but the only problem was that she loved you more than you loved her. Think of it like... like... you, Harry, and Rachel! Rachel loves Harry, like you love Rachel, but she loves him just a little more than you love her... just like Stephanie loved you. It's hard to understand, but do you get where I'm going with this? Pretty much, all I'm saying is... you've let one of your girls go, you can't let Rachel go. You just can't. Make her yours and prove to the world how much you love her." Liam moved his hard stare away from Zayn. Louis stood in the back watching.

Zayn knew he was right. He could never love someone as much as he loved Rachel, he didn't even know why he did, he just did.

She was just... special you could say. It was just that, he would never be able to get this guilt off his chest.