A Very Awkward Story- Starkid Inspired

Act 1 part 10; 'Pepsi and Mentos' Messy

Act 1 part 10

Scene: Darren is driving home from waiting at the park alone for an hour. He attempts to pull into the driveway but there is already a car in there. He recognises it but can’t remember where from. He parks his car outside and walks to his front door. He goes to open it but it’s locked. Normally it isn’t so he’s confused. He knocks on the door but no one answers. He uses his key and opens the door. The light in his living room is off. But he can see his kitchen light is on. He throws his key on the couch and walks into the lounge. He is gobsmacked by what he see’s

Darren: Mum?? *shrieks* with Mr Joseph Morrow?? What the hell?

Lydia: Darren, I wasn’t expecting you home so soon.

*Lydia and Mr Morrow, Darren’s English teacher, are standing in the kitchen drinking coffee but standing too close for it to be a parent teacher meeting*

Darren: Mum!!!

Lydia: Oh calm your bloody farm Darren!

Darren: Muuuum!! You can’t say that, your old, and you can’t hang out with my teachers-

Joe: I can see how this must be really awkward for you Darren-

Darren: Really? You don’t know half of it!!

Joe: Look, at one point my mum was dating-

Lydia: Joe, please

Darren: DATING?!? What the hell? I thought you were just hanging out. You know what, I don’t even care, just don’t be together in front of me…ever

Lydia: Darren, sit down

Darren: I’m going to bed

Lydia: Sit down Darren

Darren: Please don’t make me

Lydia: Sit *points to the kitchen bench and Darren sits down, his eyes darting from Lydia to Joe*

Darren: What?

Lydia: I want you to know Darren, that you are my first priority okay

Darren: Mum-

Lydia: And when your father died-

Darren: Mum! Please-

Lydia: Just shut up and listen

Joe: Do you want me to go?

Lydia: Please, just wait in the living room, thankyou Joe

Joe: Okay *Joe walks away*

Lydia: Okay when your father died, I promised myself I would do whatever I had to, to raise you right without a father figure in your life.

Darren: Yeah, and you have

Lydia: And now you’re older and soon enough you’ll be gone and I loved your father but I, I’m lonely

Darren: Please, don’t continue

Lydia: Now Joseph is a really good man. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, he’s not tattooed or hair plugged. And he likes me back; I need you to accept me and Joseph dating.

Darren: You do realise that everyone at school will find out- And I’m dead meat. Everyone will kill me!

Lydia: No one’s going to care

Darren: They’re all going to think I’m teacher’s pets.

Lydia: Just because we are dating that doesn’t mean that he is going to treat you differently.

Darren: Well I suppose one day you’re going to marry him?

Lydia: Let’s not talk about that now.