#15 He makes you feel insecure (Part 2)

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He makes you feel insecure Part 2

You close the bedroom door and make sure to lock it, because you want to be alone. After that you take of all your clothes, even the bikini and step in front on the mirror. Fat. Fat. And more fat. Too big curves, stretchmarks and everything just looked wrong. You sigh and walks to the bathroom and get in the shower, trying to wash away your feelings.

After half an hour you get out, all warmed up and also feeling a little bit better. But all the good feelings rush away when you see yourself in the mirror. You ignore it this time and trow on a pair of panties and a big T-shirt. You brush your hair and put it up in a messy bun. You sit down on your bed, actually it's Austin's also but you don't want to think about him right now. You take out your diary from the night stand and open a new page.

"You're fat, ugly, and you're giant troll. Did you really think Austin loved you? Did you really believe him when he called you beautiful? Jees Y/N, you're always gonna be ugly, okay?"

You stare down at the page, staring at every word, believing them and hating yourself more and more. You put the book back in your nightstand and lay down in your bed. Some words from one person could hurt so much, but Austin didn't know that you've been bullied in four long years, it's not his fault that you're ugly so you don't blame him. You stand up and walk to the mirror again.

"Y/N, how can you be so ugly? So fat? You eat and eat, but what you really need is to work out, so Austin can love you and think you're beautiful" you say to the mirror. You hear that someone opens the door, or locking it up from the other side, and soon you see a sad Austin.

"Y/N, I am so sorry, it came out wrong" he says and comes up to you and pulls you close to his body. He buries his head in your neck and kisses the skin.

"You where so beautiful, so beautiful that I thought that some other guy would try to hit on you and I didn't want that because I want you to myself because I love you as you are and nothing can change that, okay?" he says and pulls away so you're looking into his eyes.

"So I don't want you to think you're ugly or fat because you're far away from that. You're beautiful, funny, stunning and absolutely amazing. And I am so lucky to be the one to wake up beside you" he says and kisses your lips. You kiss him back putting your arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

"I love you Y/N" he says against your lips, making you smile.

"I love you too"

Yes, so that was the second part and the last one. It went very personal and so I started crying in the middle...?

So if you're thinking these thoughts, stop okay? You are beautiful, and don't hurt yourself in any way because God can't replace you. Be yourself and ignore the haters, they are only jealous. Stay amazing! <3

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