A is for... Afterlife: The ABCs of Zombie by Rusty Fischer

A is for… Afterlife,

Which gives you second birth;

And lets the zombies roam around

This godforsaken earth.

B is for… “Bbrraaiinnss!”

Which all zombies love to eat;

And lets them shuffle back and forth

On their grody zombie feet.

C is for… Cemetery,

Where the zombies all hang out;

And if you ever see some there

You’re sure to give a shout!

D is for… Dig,

Which grave diggers do;

So for them seeing zombies

Is not very new.

E is for… Energy,

Which brains seem to give;

And make it so the living dead

Can die and then… re-live.

F is for… Fall,

Which limbs often do;

As zombies lose their arms and legs

Chasing after me and you.

G is for… Gunshots,

Which don’t do the trick;

Unless you get a head shot

Buck shot don’t mean a lick.

H is for… Hospital,

Where you’ll surely need to go;

When the zombies bite your toes off

And you’re thrashing to and fro.

I is for… Infection,

Which the zombies love to spread;

And turns you into one of them

The lowly living dead.

J is for… Justice,

Which is hard to enforce;

When each zombie is crazy

And strong as a horse.

K is for… Killer,

Which you will long to be;

When the zombies smell our brain pans

And come for you and me.

L is for… Living,

Which sounds great ‘til you’re dead;

And then all you crave

Is a bullet in the head.

M is for… Munching,

The sound zombies make;

As they stumble around

Treating brains like chocolate cake.

N is for… Nifty,

Which a shotgun surely is;

When you’re surrounded by 10 zombies

That old shotgun is the shiz.

O is for… Ostracize,

Which is what all cities do;

When they catch you munching on your pet

And come straight after you.

P is for… Pistol,

The cousin to shot gun;

And will sure come in handy

(But only if you got one).

Q is for… Quiet,

Which I’m sure you’ll agree;

If the zombies are coming

Is the best way to be.

R is for… Rebirth,

Which is not to be desired;

Because after fourteen hundred years

You’re sure to feel real tired.

S is for… Silver,

Which is said to be foolproof;

But only if you’re facing down

A hairy old werewolf.

T is for… Tripping,

Which B-list actresses always do;

When the zombie horde is after them

And they forgot to tie their shoe.

U is for… Undead,

Which means you’re heart no longer beats;

And that you’ll soon be cracking skulls

And calling brains “good eats.”

V is for… Victory,

Which comes if you’re ready;

To reload your shotgun

And hold it real steady.

W is for… Wusses,

Which most of us are;

When we find there’s a zombie

In the back of our car.

X is for… X-Ray,

Which won’t be much help;

After you have been bitten

And given a yelp.

Y is for… Yelling,

Which I don’t recommend;

If you’re hiding from zombies

Since it could spell your end.

Z is for… Zombie,

Which is a no-brainer;

Unless you’ve been bitten,

Then it’s a real skivvy stainer!!!