I ran. I ran for what seemed like miles but Ashley ran after me and caught up with me. I gave up running and Ashley tackled me into a hug and held me while I cried on his shoulder.
“Hey, it’s okay.” We walked to the park in the rain. Ashley sat on a swing and he let me sit on his lap as long as I promised I’d tell him why I ran away.
“I’ll tell you later.”
“Promise?” He stared at me uncertainly.
“Promise,” I replied. We then walked back to the house slowly.
“Hey guys,” Ashley announced as we walked through the door. They were all watching Batman Begins.
“Hey,” they all chorused. Ashely went into the front room and I went into the kitchen and made myself a cheese sandwich.
“Hey,” Alex said. I turned around and Alex was leaning against the door frame. “What was that about? You’re lucky that Ville and Lauri were discussing venue’s for their tour!”
“Ughh just a mini mental breakdown, I don’t even get it myself!” I replied.
“Aww, I get those,” Alex said before hugging me. CC the walked in and Alex then went to hugging, then making out with him.
“Awww,” I said while they were hugging “Ehhh,” I then said while they were making out before I ran upstairs. Ashley later joined me in our room.
“You like it?” He asked. “I mean it’s not as great as your art but.”
“I love it,” I smiled before kissing him.
“So why did you run off?”
“Ugh if I tell you the truth you’ll go mad.”
“So you lied to Alex?”
“How do you know about that?”
“She texted me while she was hugging you.”
“That sneaky... girl. I don’t wanna call her anything mean ‘cause she’s my friend.”
“Haha anyway was it a lie?”
“It was partly true. Half of the reason.”
“What’s the other half?”
“You’ll go mad if I tell you,” I answered turning away from you.
“Hey, I could never ever get mad at you.”
“So you wanna know the truth?” I asked standing up and looking into his eyes.
“Yes,” he whispered looking down at the floor.
“Fine, the truth is I wanted to get away. Everyone else is so happy in their own lives and I’m just miserable in mine. I feel an outcast in my own body. I hate it! I’m worthless, nothing about me is special! You’re the only thing that makes me happy, excluding the others. I have nothing else in my life. My life isn’t worth anything Ashley. Everyone in this house, wait no make that the world would be better off without me. I was so annoyed and partly angry when I woke up in that god damn hospital bed. You should’ve left me to die! It’s what I wanted and what I still want! No one can change my mind right now Ashley! No one loves me, I don’t get how you can! I’m not special, I’m an outcast and my life is worth nothing!” I half yelled at him.
He looked hurt and tears were streaming from his eyes. Oh fuck! What had I done.
“Blaze?” He asked in a hushed voice. “You wanna know why I love you? Why I got Jinxx to call the ambulance over?”
I said nothing.
“Do you?!” His voice raised slightly. I nodded and looked at the floor.
“I love you Blaze because you aren’t worthless. Not to me. You’re beautiful no matter if you have make up on or not. You’re kind, funny, caring, you are amazing at the guitar, you’re smart, you have amazing music taste, you have an amazing singing voice and from the moment I met you, I couldn’t help but like you even though I hadn’t even spoken to you yet! You’re so beautiful Blaze. I saved your life because I love you and couldn’t stand to be without you. Those three weeks were hell and you know what? Matt Tuck once walked through that hospital door and said to me ‘Just unplug the god damn machine you pussy. She obviously didn’t want to live so do it asshole,’ then left. I didn’t ‘cause I didn’t want to be without you Blaze. One day killed me enough and even when we’re apart because you go get food or something it kills me. I hate being away from you. It kills me and it makes me want to die because of what you just said! But if you still feel the same then I can’t do anything, but if you walk out of this house and never come back Blaze, then I assure you, that I won’t wanna live anymore ‘cause I want to be with you, forever.”
I looked up at him and it felt like my eyes were bleeding. I had rubbed my eyes so much because I was crying it hurt to even close them now!
“Ashley, I’m sorry,” I said getting up.
“Blaze please...” Ashley began. I tackled him to the floor in a hug.
“I love you Ashley,” I whispered in his ear.
“I love you to Blaze. Hey Blaze?”
“Yeah?” I asked.