Misguided Adoration [A Dark Poem]

I lead you on, 

And you followed,

You thought I was the one,

But my heart was hollow. 

You hoped for Love,

I always knew, 

That my Love,

Didn't belong to you. 

And so I let my guilt take over. 

And I walked out of your life. 

You told your friends, "I lost her." 

But I knew what I did was right. 

But then I realize, 

I need you in my life. 

I need to look into those eyes. 

Because they shine so bright. 

And I long for that light. 

So I'll bring you back in,

To be used again. 

And I'll throw you away, 

When I feel Okay. 

Because I'm the monster, 

Who can't get enough. 

And I'll haunt you, 

Until you beg me to stop. 

I let you feel like a beloved token, 

Knowing, in the end, you'll only be broken. 

I'll tell you I won't hurt you, 

I'll feed you these lies. 

And, for a moment, I'll believe it too, 

Because I'm lost in my own disguise. 

But I'll be the monster to hurt you. 

I'll be the one to use and desert you. 

I'm slowly going to tear you to shreds. 

I'll stab your back until the world is stained red. 

These weren't always my intentions, 

I used to care. 

But now I've lost my conviction, 

And, I swear, 

I'm going to kill you, 

By breaking your heart. 

Even though I promised not to, 

From the very start. 

I'll look into your eyes, 

Fall in love with my own imagination. 

I'm lost in my own disguise,

And addicted to your misguided adoration.