My Best friend, My Lover

PART 4: Not Even Half-Mine

PART 4: NOT EVEN HALF -MINE

"Love, it never dies. It never goes away, it never fades, so long as you hang on to it. Love can make you immortal" - Gayle Forman

Tristan's POV

"Shhhh..." masuyo kong bulong sabay lapat ng daliri ko sa labi nya. I want her to stay silent so I could enjoy the moment of being this close to her.

I can feel her being uncomfortable with our position. In the close proximity that we have, I can almost feel her erratic heartbeat. How i wish that her heart beats for me...

I can't explain this feeling that I have right now.

It could probably be some sense of territoriality over my best friend. I was used to having her full attention since we've met. Not that I'm complaining pero ngayon lang yata siya tumingin sa iba maliban sa akin...

And I don't like it.

I don't like the feeling of having to compete for my best friend's affection.

Damn!

She's the sweetest girl I know. If only I could monopolize her time then I'd do it. If only I could claim her for myself, then I'd be happier... Pero alam ko naming hindi pwede.

I've seen how skittish and uneasy he'd been with other men. I don't want her to look at me with disdain in her eyes. I'd rather cage myself in the friend zone forever. After all ang girlfriend pwede ibreak, sa pagiging friends namin wala kaming breakup hahahaha.

What the hell man...Im talking to myself again.

DEym.

Madalas kong sitahin si Ella sa pagdedaydreaming pero ako naman am talking to myself?!

Get a hold of yourself dude! Sayang ang moment ngayon!

I was jolted back to my senses when she squirmed and moved her head a little.

Nakakatawa talaga itong babaeng ito. Gising naman ayaw pang dumilat! Hmmm yung pagtutulog-tulugan mo could work to my advantage!

Maniac! that little voice at the back of my head was at it again. Konsensya lang? Di ba mga babae lang ang may ganun?!

I raised my hand near her head to block her escape. I brought her her sa locker room to show her what a flirt Victor is. He doesn't deserve her! Paglalaruan lang sya ng maniac na yun. I want her to stop fantasizing about my rival. I don't want her to get hurt. I hate to see her hurt.

Why dont you want her to get hurt? the voice in my head taunts me.

For one she's my best friend and i'd never want to see her cry because of some testosterone-fuelled guy who can get some slack anywhere. My bestfriend deserves someone better.

At sino yung someone better na yun? Ikaw? tudyo ng utak ko.

Malamang ako. Sino pa ba ang dapat para sa kanya? Sino pa nga ba ang pwedeng magmahal sa kanya ng sobra-sobra? Ako lang di ba?Besides I love her as my friend!

Friend nga lang ba?Why lie to yourself?Iisa lang tayo. tudyong muli ng boses sa utak ko.

Damn! Why do i keep talking to myself?!