Sitting Next To Depression

WARNING: This is an extremely sad story. You might find yourself crying. This is a story of the worst feelings that you can't escape. This is a story that doesn't have a name to it. People are cruel. The WHOLE world is cruel. So if you are reading this just looking for a laugh at how pathetic people are then I suggest you get out of this page right now. The characters in this story have the same first letter but the name has changed to protect their identities as well as mine.

THIS IS MY STORY.

I should tell you about my sister, Odette, first. Odette has always been there for me. She called me her "Squishy". She was an amazing writer and artist. She had amazing taste in music. She died her hair black and the most beautiful blue eyes. She is Katniss and I am Prim/Rue. She would never let anyone or anything hurt me. Well she tried. The only one she couldn't keep from hurting me is myself. I never told her this but maybe I should: She is the most beautiful person in the whole world in every way. I love my sister.

About 2 days before my 11th birthday party I was just home and like always me, my sister, and my dad were failing at wrestling. We were just playing around until...I saw it.

Red swollen lines as straight as an arrow that cross to make "X"s on Odette's arm. We don't have a cat so she couldn't blame it on that like the normal excuse.

Then I guess I was staring at her arm in shock because I then see her hand slowly pulling her black sleeve.

The day of my birthday party i went straight to my best friends at the moment. Paige and Mable. I told them what had happened and Paige said i should go into her room and look for a razor or knife.

After a while she was sent to a mental hospital. A mental hospital isn't just for crazy people it's also for people who cut, have eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, anger problems, homoicidal thoughts, homicidal actions, and drug problems.

The whole time she was in that hospital i never got to see her. I only got to write letters. I only got to hope she was getting all the help in the world. I have saved those letters. They are currently not in a safe place but i should probably change that.

Okay now the only reason i'm am sharing these things with you is because I trust you because you have obviously care enough or are interested enough to have kept reading. Another reason is because i am behind a mask and i'm definately not ready to take that mask off and reveal to you who i am so you have no idea who is talking to you.

I cried for no reason while she was in the hospital. I had no idea how this could have happened to my perfect sister. I ddidn't even know what was even going on. They never fully taught me the concept of suicide.

Even after she came back she still cut. She never really stopped. I begged my parents to take away her sissors (she cut with them). They refused i was so upset. I cared about her more than anyone.

She is my best friend.

We got closer though. 75% laughing together. 25% crying together. 0% fighting. i loved everything about her. Her hair. Her Clothes. Her attitude. Her rebellion. sShe was someone i wanted to be like.

I Started getting depressed, at least i thought i was. I have no idea what i thought it was about. i think it was more about odette, the most important person in my life, was thinking about killling herself. maybe i just couldn't think about my life without her. 

One day i was texting my friend, Allison, 

MORE WILL BE UPDATED SOON