As promised, here's the next part :)
When the movie ended and Flynn and Jake switched over to Playstation, I got up to get a glass of water.
I was taking my first sip when Sandra entered the kitchen, giving me a wary look as she approached.
I barely suppressed a tired sigh.
“Corinna,” she began, her eyes already misting over.
“Sandra,” I replied coldly, taking a sip of my water and quirking an eyebrow in her direction.
She bit her lip, looking at me from beneath her eyelashes. “There are so many things I’d like to say.”
“Yet, you can’t seem to spit out a single one of them.”
A wrinkle appeared between her eyes. “I...I guess I should start by telling you how sorry I am.”
I gave a short laugh. “For what?”
She took a half step closer to me but something in my expression must have stopped her. “For giving up. For letting you go without a fight. You’re my daughter─”
“No I’m not. Never really was.” I shook my head and slammed my water glass onto the counter. “Don’t get soft on me now, Sandra. You’ve played your part perfectly all these years. Remember when I showed up here? Remember what you said? You glared at my dad and said,” I crowded her space, my face close to hers when I whispered in a mocking tone, “‘Donald, she is not staying here. She’s trouble and you know it. We’ve been through this before.’” My lips curled up into a smirk as I took a step back. “Remember? You looked so tough, acting all strong and now here you are, crying for someone as troublesome as me.”
“But you’re not─”
“What?” I asked, cutting her off and tilting my head to the side. “Trouble?” Feeling cold inside, I let out a short laugh. “Sandra, you have no idea.” My smirk gone, I gave her a flat look, my eyes traveling over her pale face for a moment as if considering my next words carefully. “Should I confess all my sins? Do you need all the details or can you just take my word for it?”
Her bottom lip trembled and more wrinkles appeared on her brow. She looked confused and overwhelmed and all I wanted was to get out of there. Even as I knew it needed to die, that glimmer of trust in her eyes was giving me hope, hope that had no place in my life.
Feeling tired and old, I let out a sigh and gave her a small genuine smile for once. “I’m trying to move on too, Sandra.”
“We’ll help you,” she said, the words wrenched from her throat.
I was shaking my head before she’d even spoken them. “I’m not just trying to move on from my mother and the things I’ve done these past four years. I’m trying to move on from you, too. I need to start a whole new life and you and Donald, Jake and Jesse, none of you are part of it.” Planting my usual careless grin on my face, I gave my shoulders a shrug and patted her on the arm. “Points for trying, though,” I said sarcastically before brushing past her, bumping her shoulder with mine and making her stumble a step.
“I’m going to do some homework and head to bed early. Later,” I gave the living room a general wave and headed up the stairs, avoiding my father’s piercing gaze. I didn’t know how many more concerned glances I could take from him. That look of guilt in his eyes was my undoing and I needed to stay strong for just a few more days. Then he could start to forget again, pack his memories away just as easily as he packed my pictures away last time.
Yes. That’s what I wanted.
I wanted those memories for myself because I needed something to wrap around me at night.
I didn’t touch my homework. I just lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to the sounds of a flowing river on my iPod, trying to keep my mind blank but I kept seeing my mother, her hair a mess, her eyes bloodshot and her steps unsteady as she smashed the foundations that held me afloat.
And Flynn had been right there for the whole thing.
It’s like she doesn’t even feel it.
I screwed my eyes shut, her words invading my thoughts.
How could she be so stupid? How could she think I didn’t feel anything?
“I’m the stupid one,” I muttered, mentally calling myself crazy for staying with her as long as I did.
Long enough to ruin my entire life.