A Flower and A Dog Demon (Sesshomaru Fanfiction)

Chapter 17 - Uncertainties

Hana still did not fully understand how someone could barely ever show emotion – how they could always manage to seem so indifferent, even in the toughest of situations. She supposed that was one thing she would never really get about Lord Sesshomaru, but she knew that his mysterious and indifferent ways were one of the reasons she was attracted to him. But sometimes it did manage to get to her, especially now, after she’d finally managed to have mustered up so much courage to openly admit to him her feelings toward him on the night near the river. He hadn’t outright rejected her, and he hadn’t seemed at all displeased with her, but he had also never really responded to her.

The thought that she could love him greatly but would still never really know how Lord Sesshomaru felt about her upset Hana.

Why did he have to be so full of pride? Why couldn’t she have met and fallen for a yokai that was all mushy and romantic? Though she knew that she did not mean it, it was what she was thinking at the moment. However, Hana knew deep down, that she only wanted Lord Sesshomaru.

“Hana,” Sesshomaru’s voice broke her train of thought. She jumped a bit. This was the first time he had acknowledged her since they left the place where Hiro had died.

“Lord Sesshomaru?” She was slightly afraid of what he was going to say to her.

Sesshomaru was looking straight ahead as he walked with a thoughtful look on his face, slivers of sunlight shining onto his face every now and again whenever they would walk past an opening in the canopy of trees.

“You seem…annoyed.” He took a side glance at her. Hana blinked, surprised. Was her annoyance so great that Lord Sesshomaru had been able to sense it? Or was she just really that horrible at hiding her emotions?

"I-," she thought of something to say to him, slightly at a loss of words. "No. I'm not annoyed - I-I've merely been thinking a lot, that is all." 

Hana supposed that was somewhat the truth - or at least half the truth. She looked down at her shoes as she walked. 

"Lord Sesshomaru?" He glanced across at her. "Do you think that it was foolish for me to try to go back to Hiro?"

Sesshomaru closed his eyes briefly, looking away from her. 

"Very,"

Hana did not look back up; instead, she blushed, this time from embarrassment. So that was what he thought, huh. 

"Well, don't you believe that there was even a little reasoning in what I had been thinking at the moment? I mean, sure he died with a great hatred towards me, but at first, Hiro had actually cared about me. He was the only person that had ever loved me....and I loved him too...at once."

"Are you trying to say something, Hana?"

Hana blushed even more at Sesshomaru's question. 

Was she trying to tell him something? 

"No.....well, yes, maybe." Her voice was quieter than usual.

Just then, Hana felt a sudden courage form inside of her. She turned to walk in front of Sesshomaru. She knew that if she'd stopped walking he would have probably strolled right past her, ignoring her, so she walked backward as she talked to him instead. 

"Ever since the time you had resurrected me I took a great liking towards you, Lord Sesshomaru. I suppose that it was partly due to the way...the way you carried yourself - the way you always kept your cool and never let anyone know what you were thinking - I admired that, and sometime recently, I discovered that admiration had.....it had blossomed into me somewhat being in love with you....,"