Heartbreak Hotel (Editing)

Chapter 29: All Or Nothing

Live at the Annual 7th American Music Awards.

January 18, 1980

I was sitting awkwardly in the beauty chair while I allowed my hair and make up artist curl hair. Danny was making us wear these silver outfits. The pants were silver and the crop tops were too. I thought that it was a little ridiculous, but that wasn't the reason why I felt so off. The fact that I was in the same building as Michael is what had me wanting to go crawl in a corner and die. The media didn't know about the break up, and people were already becoming suspicious. We didn't show up together and I think that it's obvious that we are trying to avoid each other.

Or maybe it was just me. These seven months have made me paranoid and I swear I thought I was going crazy. The tour was stressful and I hadn't had a good night sleep in months. Drama broke out in the house when De decided to abort her child. Sasha damn there through a fit when she found out. The pain of it was hard enough and I can look in De's eyes and tell that she had guilt because of it. It hurt her to the depths of her soul, and it didn't make it any better that Sasha was constantly condemning her about it.

There was something else going on with her too. I just didn't know what exactly. I was too preoccupied with my conflicted mind. The confliction about Michael and the decision I had made to let him go. I wondered constantly if he still loved me, or did he hate me. His album Off The Wall was released last August right before his twenty first birthday. I had Bobby go out and get it for me so I could listen. I loved it, but there was on sing on the album that made me cry when I heard it.

She's Out Of My Life

A slow sad song about losing the one that he loved. At the end he cried. It made me wonder if I was the reason. Something told me deep down inside that it was.

I look up in the mirror to see De walking in from the bathroom. She was fully dressed but she wore sunglasses over eyes. She sat down in her chair with a sigh. I looked back at my refection and began to mindlessly chew on my thumb nail.

"Hey, De." Nikki said from her chair. "Do you have anymore pins?"

De didn't ever look at her; she shook her head. "No," she said dully.

I raised my eyebrow. "Are you okay?" I asked.

She nodded her head.

"De, we go on soon. You can't go out there with those shades on. And where were you during the red carpet walk?" Jojo asked as she walked over to her.

"I had some...business to take care of."

I turned to her in the swivel chair." Business?"

"Yes." she snapped.

"Well, excuse me." I said as I turned back to the mirror.

"Look, we don't have time for this."Leena said. "We..." her voice began to trail to a horrifying gasp. "What happened to your face?"

De was trying to hide it but it was clear day. Her left eye was clouded with a big purple bruise underneath it. My eyebrow knitted together as I stood up. " He did that to you, didn't he?" I asked as I tried to get a better look at it.

She quickly moved her head out of my view. "Stop, Liyah. I had an accident."

I pursed my lips. "Yeah, sure. What you do, trip and fall on his fist?!"

"No, Liyah Damn! I fell that's it!"

"What kind of fool do you think I am?"

"Why you always gotta be in my  business! Leave me alone."