Give It All (Violate|American Horror Story AU)

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

{ Next Day }

*beep*

Ugh, stupid alarm always decimates my dreams. The dreams that I truly wish were real because they’re just not my reality. If I could sleep all day I would just to miss out on all the shit and piss that runs in the streets. Everyone wants to change the world, but no wants to try. So, we just sit back and watch the world disintegrate. The world is a spinning infinity, a never ending nightmare you wish to wake up from. I’m living, but I’m feeling numb. I feel no pain. I wear a mask so falsely numb it’s real and I don’t know who I am. I’m lost in the shadows that surround me. The shadows from the past that live inside me and will forever scar me. I’m forever lost in myself, in my own private hell. My strength is their weakness, and my weakness their strength which is also my hate. I can’t be, no, I won’t be weak.

I live my life looking up at the sky for some said light, but find nothing. People live their lives looking at their tomorrow and I’m just living here in my yesterday. It’s hard to forget, but I’m trying to live in my today. After all we are all meant for the flies. We were all born to die.

I get up from bed and sluggishly make way to the dresser. I could care less what I wear, it’s not like people like me so why impress? I just grab what I see first and change into them. I walk to my long length mirror that’s next to my dresser and just stare at myself in desperation to disappear. We are like jellybeans in a jar; one missing wouldn’t concern anyone.

 I’m a 17 year old stuck in a 12 year olds body. I’m not even half the attractive my Mom is. No surprise why no one likes me. I hate myself for being so insecure, but I just can’t help it. The people who sometimes give me compliment I just want to punch them in their fucking face because I know they’re lying…I think. I just don’t know how to react to a compliment so I just take it sarcastically and say something like ‘Yeah, right’ or ‘whatever’ or sometimes I just laugh at them. That’s how insecure I am about myself.

 I walk over to my dresser and slightly brush my tangled hair. I’m a wreck when I’m sleeping. I then grab my bag and pack up a box of cigarettes and a lighter that I keep in a box under my bed and head downstairs in an attempt to leave without anyone noticing. But to my luck my Mom was in the kitchen and saw me.

“Hey Hun, sleep well?” she asked.

“Yeah, I guess” I said nonchalantly, hoping I would walk out without another word.

“Great, you want some breakfast?” she asked.

“No, I’m good” I said. That’s another thing wrong with I hardly eat. It’s not that I don’t want to it’s just that I’m not really hungry and every time I am hungry its constant fights between my parents at the table. I guess, that’s also the reason I don’t eat.

“Vi, you should’ve come with us yesterday, the Langdon’s are such a sweet family…” she looked at me then continued “and they have a boy about your age” she smirked at me and raised a brow. Wait, WTF? was she trying make me get interested in a boy that lives across the street and don’t even know? Not going to happen.

“Okay?...Bye, Mom” I said still looking at her in disbelief and continued walking towards the door.

“Okay honey, do you need a ride?” she asked and I was starting to get annoyed. How many question is she going to ask?

“No, Mom!” I practically yelled at her.

She looked at me in disbelief and then just shook her head and continued with what she was doing. “Well, someone’s moody” she mumbled.

 I ignored her and continued out the door. I walked for about 15 minutes until my school came into view. And you would totally fucking imagine it like a scene pulled out of a ‘Mean Girls’. With Guys spread out in the front tossing around a football and girls in miniskirts and blouses that virtually exposed their entire breast, but to my surprise it was empty. I see no one. Great, just great I’m fucking late. What more amazing things could happen to me today?

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So, this was just basically like a filler chapter. :)