Lost & Found // Z.M.

Not A Goodbye

           When we finally made it back to the boy’s flats in London, a sense of sadness rushed over me. I was overwhelmed at the fact that it would be my last day here before heading back home tomorrow morning. Not only did I not want to leave this amazing place already, but I was not ready to head back to the normal routine of school and work.

            So many amazing things have happened these two weeks that I got used to the hectic and chaotic schedule of the everyday lives of One Direction. I got used to the idea of waking up at dawn, sometimes earlier, to go wait for them while they did interviews and appearances or to catch the next flight to take them to a new city. It felt like I had been with them for more time than the actual time I’ve spent here. I felt like I had known them all my life and going back to my real life back in New York was wrong, like I didn’t belong there. I guess it was part of the process.

            When I talked to the boys about it, they all seemed to agree with me. Each of them explained to me how difficult it was for them to go back home on their free time and not feel uneasy because of all the time they spend touring and being away. Sure, they felt that it was necessary to go back to be with their family because it felt like a relief, an escape from all the chaos that being so famous and busy can cause. That’s one of the reasons they kept bringing their family and friends on tour, to feel a little closer to their hometowns even when they are so many miles away. The best thing about it, according to the boys, was how they kept each other grounded and their friendship meant more to them than any fame could. After spending almost every waking moment with them, you start to learn what makes each other happy, or what makes them tick. You’re able to understand how to handle situations together or how to bring each other up when their feeling down. There’s not a better feeling than travelling the world with your best friends and that’s exactly how I felt after those two weeks.

            Never in my life could I have imagined that I would have become best friends with the members and friends of One Direction, except, I didn’t see it like that. Sure, it was overwhelming but I was really glad that I got to meet them as who they truly are, amazing people.

            Now, as I get ready to gather my things from Zayn’s apartment, I come to the realization that things would change at home. My life would never be the same in coherent to the idea that people knew who I was. That certain part of it didn’t matter to me. I didn’t want people to like me because I knew One Direction and I certainly did not want fake friends to come into my life for a chance to get close to the boys, I just wanted people to know how proud I was of them. I wanted the world to know that they were my best friends and no one could ever change that.

            As for Zayn, I was ready. We both didn’t know what the future would bring for us but we both decided to try and make the most of it. It didn’t take a long time to realize that we just wanted to be with each other.

            That morning that we got back to his flat, before I could even start packing, he grabbed me by the hand and dragged me to the sofa. There, we discussed what we wished would happen with each other as far as the relationship went. Zayn made sure to tell me that he wanted to spend every single part of our free time together but of course we knew that sometimes it wouldn’t work that way. We made plans of him and I flying to where ever he was in tour or even him stopping by once in a while. It was a good idea, but it still wouldn’t give us as much time together as a normal couple. Then again, I guess we weren’t considered a normal couple in the common sense. So we went with it, agreeing on the those terms plus adding texting and Skyping as much as possible.

            From now on, we would go with the flow and let faith take over.

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            Luckily, the boys did not have anything set-up for the day so we ended up hanging out as a big group.