Nobody Said It Was Easy

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My kidnapper, by the name of Keo, showed me to the souls. Or what  were known as the glowing humans. He called them souls because they were pure and free. Well, not real pure, but just free. Showing their true self without shame.

"That is the very soul you are seeing. When they are golden or white like an angel, they are showing true self to everyone." Keo explained.

"Well, can you even change like that?"

He smiled for the first time. "Sure, if I want to be a girl or boy."

"What??" I exclaimed.

He sighed. "We have both genders, and we don't. We are both, yet neither."

"That doesn't make sense... Do you know how crazy you sound?" I folded my arms against my chest.

"That's who we are. That's who you are, too." He told me directly.

I felt my breath accelerate. This was all too confusing. Even for someone as crazy and confusing as I was.

I shook my head several times. "No. I'm not that. I'm me, and that's all I am."

"Exactly. And this is you. You are this." His voice sounded far away.

I clutched my head and closed my eyes, rocking to myself.

Usually when I would slip away like this at home, horrible thoughts passed in rapid session. Murder, suicide, confusion, hate, anger, lost hope, pain, suffering, agony. Every terrifying thought. Because I was all of these. I was everything and nothing. I made sense, but I didn't, even when I never intended to.

And now.....now.....

Now I was with someone who was making this all the more worse.

"Are you okay? Dawn, listen to me, this isn't bad at all. Stop worrying. It's normal here." I heard his words, but I couldn't comprehend them. I was wallowed up in my own misery.

Why me?

I started saying the words that came to my mind when I utterly lost myself. "Maybe I'm crazy. I'm crazy. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm crazy. I'm insane...."

"Dawn, stop it. You're being foolish. You know you're not crazy." I heard a the guy's voice.

What? What did he say? He thought I was crazy too? I was crazy.

"Dawn, listen." He commanded something. What?

"No.. I can't hear you.. I can't!" I shouted, feeling my control on reality snap.

"Yes, you can. You just answered." The voice protested.

I stood up and slapped him, in a haze. "Shut up!"

He grappled my wrists. "Dawn! Shut up! You are not crazy! This is all real!" He shouted in my face.

I froze, stunned. What?

"You don-"

He shook me roughly. "No! Listen..You are not crazy or insane or loony. This is all real. Are you really gonna lose it 'cause I brought you here?"

"I- I'm-"

"No, don't say it. If you do, I'll make sure your precious friends will go insane." He warned harshly.

My head snapped up. "Lexie...Jet."

He nodded. "Yes. They wouldn't want you going insane over something so small. They know you're strong, and you wouldn't do this in front of them."

I inhaled through my nose, and exhaled out my mouth a couple of times.

I struggled against his  hold."I'm fine, you can let go. Seriously though, you guys really need to learn about personal space."

He sighed in relief. "Okay, I'm going to bring you to your new home. Your real home."

I nodded slowly, eating this up warily. "Okay. Sounds good, sounds good. Let's...go."

He lead me from my spot I had my strange breakdown.

Then a thought hit me.

This place was my home. This place was where I was meant to be.

I just might believe it.

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