Four Walls in Life
The voices are clear, but I know they have to be far away...well I sure hope they’re far away.
I can't think straight, I mean did I ever think straight? Should I even be scared at this point, even though I have been dealing with the same thing for the past nine years? Everything was so dark, the corners of my room were so prominent though still, ever so dark. Empty. That's what my room could be described as, that's what my life could be described as—as well. Nine years ago, NINE years ago, my mere age was only seven—that's when we moved into this house, but more importantly, that's when I moved into the room.
How should I have known that every wall in my room had these creatures surrounding them?
How could I see them if I always had my light on? They only come out when it’s dark, or when I allow them into my life—into me. Their voices caused me to let them in, it was like honey— I LOVED it. It drew me to the corners of my room, but I had to turn the lights off first. They were whispering, always whispering with their sugar coated voices, making me believe that the darker parts of my room were a lot safer than the lighter parts.
Mum once found me sitting in the corner of my room, in the dark—and instead of questioning me, she shook her head and walked away. How could she do this to me? She could have helped me at the young age I use to be, could have told me that the corners were prohibited. But no, I got lured into the creatures of the wall, the breezy arms of my capturers. I’m in too deep at this point, way too deep.
I remember the way I first let Allan and Martin into my life.
Only at the age of seven, my life was basically over…
“Shh…Karmen. Don’t worry. We’re your friends, we’re good,” their voices send chills down my spine, they were in my room. Their smiles were too perfect, too clean, but so convincing.
“W-who are you?” my voice shook with fear, even though I was excited that I might finally have my first few friends here.
“Karmen, we’re just here. Nothing to worry about, we’ll tell you later on sweetheart,” the way they talked was sickly sweet…I loved it. They made it seem like life was surrounded by Princesses, fairies, and unicorns. Little seven year old me, loved that idea.
“Umm…okay. But why are you here? Are you allowed to be here?” I tried to search for their eyes, but I couldn’t really detect what they looked like. All I knew was their sweet voice and addicting smile.
“We love you. We’re here only because we love you.”
Who wouldn’t want friends that love you? I couldn’t question them anymore. I didn’t care that much.
“I love you too. This much!” I spread my arms as wide as I could reach, but then I felt breezy arms “wrap” around my little body too. It was weird but comforting at the same time. I kind of held onto them as tight as I could as they told me I’m special, I’m beautiful, I’m perfect.
“Karmen. Honey, you aren’t supposed to tell anyone about us okay? We are secret friends, nobody can know.” By now I could feel that this was a guy, male. Not female.
“Why?—” He cut me off with a soft finger to my pouty lips, making me blush unwillingly.
“My name’s Allan. That, over there is Martin,” he pointed to the dark corner of my room as he shifted me over to his other arm.
“Hi Martin! I love you too!” My words were followed by a grunt and a soft breezy whisper from Allan, I couldn’t really know what they were saying, but I also didn’t pry.
“Hello Karmen. As Allan said, I’m Martin. We’re going to be great friends.”
And that we did…only on different circumstances. Very different.
Nine Years Later- Karmen is sixteen years old
“Karmen, come here,” Allan commanded from the far left corner of my room. “But first, turn the light off all the way.” My lights were always dim, that was the only thing they allowed, I cannot have the light fully on, or I’ll be…punished.
“Yes, Allan,” I quickly scrambled to turn the light off, and headed off to where Allan’s voice was located a few seconds ago.
I stood straight, close up to the left corner of my room, but spun around, not facing him, I couldn’t be so close to their faces, they said it was dangerous…as if all of this wasn’t.
Barely there arms wrapped around my slim waist from behind, as a head laid on my shoulder. I shivered, every day they made me discover something new and horrifying that was about to happen, every day they made me sit and watch innocent lives be taken away while I’m able to prevent it. The whole purpose was not to prevent it, though.
“You smell so sweet, my Karmen, ever so sweet dear. Now, what shall we do today, hmm?” There were rare occasions where Allan or Martin were in a really good mood, and they allowed me a day of rest, from all the death.
“Uhm…well…I…Allan—,” he cut me off by saying, well screaming, “How many times do I have to repeat myself Karmen? Do. Not. Stutter!” His arms felt heavier and tighter all of a sudden against me, I got him mad, that’s not good.
“Yes Allan, you’re right. I shall not stutter no more, sorry for that complication.”
“Ahh, it’s okay dear. Now, what do you want to see today?” I had to answer with the usual, required response, “I want to see people die today, Allan.” My tone of voice was rough, angry and strict, just like every other day when I had to respond.
“Hey, hey Karmen. I like it when your voice is so firm, it makes this a whole lot more enjoyable, now, doesn’t it?”
I felt a small push on my back, signaling me to walk forward, same as always, lay down on my bed with my arms pinned above my head and eyes shut tight…as it starts. I hate it when it starts. I hate seeing these people die, even worse, get tortured.
“Allan, it’s Kyle Emmerson and Jules Stone today,” Martin’s voice stated. I cannot believe I use to think these creatures were sweet, that they were my fairy tale friends.
Jules Stone, as in Liam Stone’s sister. Oh no, no, no, no…no harm should come on that sweet little girl, and no pain should be inflicted upon her lovely older brother.
“Uhmm…I mean, Allan? Jules isn’t eight years old yet, I thought there was a rule against being younger…?” I really hoped that he’d believe me, I haven’t tried to prevent a death since they chose…Liam.
“Is she correct, Martin? Is Jules below the age of eight?” At that I opened my eyes, and searched for Martin, to silently tell him to go with my story. The first day we met, I thought Martin was the more cruel out of the two, but in reality, it was just that he hated doing this, almost as much as I hated seeing it.
“Oh, yes Allan. How foolish of me, I have forgotten that she was merely six and a half, please forgive me.” He went with it, he saw my pleading glance in the dark room, YES! She’s saf—… “Well, I guess we could just torture her, right?” Allan stated, with what seemed like a smirk…I spoke too soon.
“RIGHT, KARMEN?” Allan growled, what? What happened? I think I zoned out a little.
“Y-yes, torture. Yum, I mean, yay,” I’m sorry Jules…Liam.
“Good. Now, shut your eyes tight, and the fun shall begin!”
…And everything went black.