During my first Wattpad interview, my coworker mentioned their "partner" was currently living in Washington, DC. At the time, I lived in DC and worked for a prominent gay blogger. I'd become familiar with the city's vibrant LGBT population: handsome, muscled bearded men holding hands around Dupont Circle, charmingly dubbed the "gayborhood," crazy dance clubs where girls weren't allowed to wear high heels, gorgeously decorated apartments. I thought how cool! Toronto must be just like DC.
In the US, to refer to your spouse as your partner is to hint at a partially hidden secret, an ungendered way of saying "I'm in love, but I choose to keep my love life to myself." I assumed the practice was a relic of pre-gay-marriage America, long before social mores had started to shift. But in my email communications with Ashleigh, my future Wattpad coworker with the androgynous name-spelling and the partner in DC, I assumed she was definitely a stealthy gay dude with a penchant for privacy. In reality, she's a gorgeous lady planning her hetero wedding this fall.
After moving to Canada, I realized just how common the use of partner is. "My partner and I own two hairless cats," my coworker Wendy would say. I'd shudder (about the cats), and think, "That's odd. I thought Wendy was dating someone named Vance." Friend after friend, coworker after coworker, even my parents-in-law, everyone defaulted to "partner." Like I was possessed by the crude and very un-PC Canadian duo Terrance and Philip from South Park, I spent my first 6 months thinking: Oh my god, everyone in Canada is gay.
Which would be appropriate since Toronto was home to this month's World Pride month. But nope, Canadians are just very politically correct here and a little bit better than you, America.
I still can't bring myself to say it. Even if it does solve a certain problem I've developed as an immature 30-year-old desperate to stay "cool." I got to Wattpad after getting married last summer. I looked around our colorful, open concept office and believed everyone was young and hip (still mostly true). Eager to fit in, I used to refer to my newly-appointed husband as "my boyfriend." I was recounting this sheepishly to my parents recently (they were horrified) and I explained "Mom, weddings are cool. Marriage is not cool." But maybe that's the root of my problem with partner / husband / wife. Love is awesome, labels - meh - not so much.
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Apartment "Eh?": An American's Adventures In Canada
Non-FictionHi y'all. Last year I quit my job, married a Canadian, and uprooted my entire life - old typewriters, vintage costumes and all - to Toronto. We called it our Canadian adventure and we're living in Apartment A, or as we call it, Apartment "Eh?" Co...
